Award Winning Author Debra Shively Welch

I live in Central Ohio with my husband Mark of 26 years, and my 21-year-old son Christopher.  We live on a beautiful lake which I often feature in my writing and which has also played a part in my son’s publications as well.

A sushi chef, Chris loves other types of cooking as well and we are working on a cookbook titled Christopher’s Family Table, the emphasis being on the fact that not all family members are blood related, but are in fact, adopted.  Whether adopted through marriage (the married couple adopts each other’s family) or friends that you bring into your life forever, or the formal adoption of a child, these relationships are important to who we are and are often expressed through food.  Think about it.  Have you ever sat down to eat with someone you dislike?

I am also working on a sequel to my son’s book Christopher Bullfrog Catcher.  It is called Christopher Meets Buddy and teaches the proper care of a pet bird.  Subsequent books will address other pets.

In addition, I’m working on the sequel to Cedar Woman, titled Ista Numpa.  The readers of Cedar Woman wanted a book about Cedar Woman’s best friend Nickie, or Ista Numpa, so I am now taking notes, setting up an outline and filling out character sheets and a time line for this book.  It will deal mainly with domestic violence.

I am also working on, and have almost finished, an anthology of short stories and poems called Swinging Bridge.  All of the works are about a type of transition.  Walking across a swinging bridge can be very intimidating, and sometimes you’re afraid that you won’t make it to the other side…but you do.  That is the basic theme of this work.  It will be released this fall.

A percentage of royalties for all of our books goes to Operation Smile.  I do this in gratitude for my most precious gift, my son, adopted and born with cleft lip and palate.

Following are the URLs to my web page, FaceBook and Twitter pages:

http://debrashiveleywelchloveandwriting.blogspot.com/

https://www.facebook.com/DShiveleyWelch?ref=hl

https://twitter.com/DebraSWelch

 Debra's books and links to where you can find them:

 

Cedar Woman

Cedar Woman is a powerful book filled with courage, romance and the beliefs, ceremonies and language of the Lakota Sioux.  Travel with her to Columbus, Ohio as she rebuilds her life, and the lives of her family. Join her in the sweat lodge as she follows Zitka Mine to the fifth step of the edge of the world to find her father's soul.

Follow her to powwow where she meets her half side, and works toward her goal of establishing the first Central Ohio Native American restaurant in the nearby suburb of Westerville.

http://tinyurl.com/p469mlp

Son of My Soul – The Adoption of Christopher

It would be easy to accept this book as 'another adoption story', that is until you read it. From the first words the reader is caught up in the account, enthralled by not just the tale but the telling of it. Ms. Shiveley Welch's talent reveals the journey to love, her decision to adopt instead of giving birth, her new and wonderful child and most of all her earnest desire and steadfast belief that everything would come to pass.

Son of My Soul – The Adoption of Christopher is not just about the joys of motherhood, but is also a self-help book about breaking the circle of child abuse.  The author considers her childhood as ‘boot camp’ and uses the lessons learned from her own abuse to help her beloved son through many surgeries and therapies to correct cleft lip as the and palate.

http://tinyurl.com/pwy63dx

 

Just Chris by Christopher Shiveley Welch

Just Chris, is more than a boy telling of his life. It is a story that surely will bring encouragement to many who face challenges, feel worthless due to some physical handicap, or face rejection in anyway. It is a story of hope, courage and steadfast love. I believe Christopher has an exciting life ahead of him, and he will fly to heights that even he cannot imagine at this time. A great read, from a great young man.

http://tinyurl.com/p3gkwsk

A Very Special Child

A book written from the heart of a mother, one who adopted a child and found her true calling.  A Very Special Child unfolds the story of adoption in a spiritual way, explaining adoption to a child in a simple, lovely way.

http://tinyurl.com/orlktrs

Christopher Bullfrog Catcher

Christopher Bullfrog Catcher is a fun way to teach your child how to write. The reader is taught how to follow a simple formula in order to create their own special story. Add to that a guide on how to catch bullfrogs, and a message regarding the care and respect of these fascinating creatures, and you have a book that your child will want to pass on to their own children.

http://tinyurl.com/pkcxbue

 

Jesus Gandhi Oma Mae Adams

Jesus Gandhi Oma Mae Adams is a murder mystery co-written by cousins, Debra Shiveley Welch and Linda Lee Greene. Religion and murder combine in this breathless escape. A well written narrative that keeps the pages turning.

http://tinyurl.com/qxpdxnp

Interview:

1.      Why did you become a writer…was it a dream of yours since you were younger or did the desire to write happen later in your life?

I write, therefore I am.  That says it all.  I began writing at age nine and was first published at age 26.  I’ve always loved the music of words and am so thrilled when I manage to write something that makes me think, I can’t believe I wrote that!  An example is the beginning of the first chapter in Cedar Woman:

Slowly, slowly, Grandfather Sun began his ascent.  Gliding, floating, he moved above the horizon as blue and lavender and mauve filled the sky.

            Birdsong married with fragrant air, as Wakan Tanka[1]  stretched His fingers across the sky, pushing back the night, heralding the dawning of a new day.

It is truly thrilling when you see progression in your writing.  I’m addicted.  I admit it.

2.      What was the inspiration for your latest work?

My son and I were adopted by a woman of the Lakota Sioux.  We went through the naming, sweat lodge, pipe and hunkapi ceremonies.  Hunkapi means “making of relatives.”  So I became her Tanksa (older sister) and she is my Cuwayla (younger sister).   Traditionally the Lakota do not consider a person’s siblings as the aunts and uncles of their children.  They are also their parents.  So a child will have multiple parents and his or her cousins are brothers and sisters.  Therefore, Chris calls my sister Ina (mother) and her son Logan calls me the same.

It is a beautiful culture where the honoring of the elders, military, veterans, etc. is central and their love of the environment is phenomenal.

I wrote Cedar Woman to honor my sister, Julie Spotted Eagle Horse Martineau.  She has treated me with more kindness and respect than most of my blood relatives and I love her with all of my heart.

 

3.      What was the most interesting research you had to do for any of your books? 

Learning the Lakota language!  I still can’t pronounce a lot of it correctly, but it was good for my, at that time, 50 + year brain to learn something new.

Learning the customs and basic beliefs was also fascinating.

4.      I know you are an award winning author, Debra. Tell me about the awards you’ve won, and the books you won them for.

A Very Special Child won FaithWriter’s Gold Seal of Approval – Outstanding Read;

Son of My Soul – The Adoption of Christopher won FaithWriter’s Gold Seal of Approval – Outstanding Read, Best Non-Fiction of 2010 and Editor’s Choice for 2011.  Cedar Woman has won Best Native American Fiction 2012.

5.      How did you decide to write books for kids? Have you always wanted to write children’s books, or did that come about later on?

I like to write in all genres.  I’m crazy about kids and like to produce books which not only entertain, but teach as well.

6.      You have also written books for adults.  How did that occur?

I like to mix it up.  A children’s book here, a cook book there, with a murder mystery or romance in between.  It keeps my brain hopping.

7.      What’s your writing schedule like?  When do you find time to write?

I am editor in chief for Saga Books and usually begin my day with a few hours of editing other people’s works.  I then try to get an hour or two for short stories, or sometimes I blog.  Finally I get to work on my own projects which can last until the wee hours of the morning.

8.      Do you have any writing idiosyncrasies?

I don’t know if you would call them idiosyncrasies, but I like to have a beverage, snack and whatever else I’ll need at the ready so that I don’t have to get up to get something and thereby break my train of thought.  I also like to use character sheets in which I ‘map out’ a character’s hair color, eyes, height, weight, time of birth, likes, dislikes.  It makes them real to me.  I also like to write with a timeline so that I don’t get lost or make a mistake in writing.

I love to research and particularly enjoy interviewing people who I think can help me make a story more believable.

For instance, in Cedar Woman I chose a restaurant that does exist.  I researched its many incarnations covering well over 100 years and the hauntings.  I interviewed, not only people in the library and local historians, but people who now work in that restaurant as to what they’ve seen and heard.

9.      What’s the most challenging aspect of writing for you?

Getting it right!  If I say it’s July 18, 2010 at sunrise and name the time, I check to make sure that the sunrise was indeed at the time I gave, that I was correct on what day of the week it happened and the weather for that day.

While co-writing Jesus Gandhi Oma Mae Adams I interviewed the person who gives permission for individuals to be buried at Arlington Cemetery.

I want it to be correct with no slip ups, so I check, and then I check and then I double check.

---

[1] Wah-kah Than-kah – Mysterious Creator

You Were Not Born That Way

In 1996, my late husband, Bear, and I were ordained after a year of 

being licensed, which was preceded by long, hard hours of studying and 

testing. During our year of licensing, we had to show our worth to be 

ordained. We traveled cross country preaching to bikers, hookers, drug 

dealers, in store-front churches, and anywhere else the Lord led. We 

pastored two churches, had Bible study at our home, worked with drug 

addicts, and held Christian 12-Step programs, as well as facilitating

Christian-based marriage classes. 


Although our lives suffered a setback that I am still trying to deal with 

and recover from, I know who holds my life in His hands, and He alone 

is the maker of Heaven and Earth. He alone decides how we are to live

and act. It is in Him that we have our being. He alone made Adam 

from the dust of the Earth, and blew His own breath into Adam's 

nostrils and gave him life. It is He who gives His Holy Spirit to us, to act

and work through us. It is the God of the Universe who sent His own

Son to suffer and die on the Cross, to shed His blood so that we might

know Him intimately and personally, and have Salvation rather than 

die, spending eternity in Hell, separated from God.


God loves us all. He proved that when Jesus died on the Cross. Love is

a verb, it's action, which is unlike this world that seems to think

love is a noun, a thing you say. But people don't know you love them

just because you say they do, they know it because of the things you 

do for them. I know my husband loves me because he works every day

to pay the bills and make sure I have all that I need and want. He

opens car doors for me, he opens all doors for me, and his greatest 

pleasure is when he can take me to a certain place I love to go for 

breves and scones. He works out of state three weeks and then he 

drives six hundred miles to be home for one week. He drives a truck for 

the oil rigs all over south Texas and Louisiana, so when he gets home, 

you would think he wouldn't want to do much of anything. Instead, he 

takes me to this place I love, and it's a two hundred mile round trip. 

Yes, he drives me two hundred miles so I can have a scone. That is the 

kind of love I'm talking about.


But as much as my husband loves me, he still can't save me from going 

to Hell anymore than i can save him from Hell. Only the blood of Jesus 

can do that, by confessing our sins to Him in prayer, and asking Him to 

be our Savior with sincerity. And then reading the Bible and obeying 

God so that we don't fall back into the sins of our past. It's so easy for 

the devil to tempt us with our past, to tell us that it's nonsense, and 

Jesus was just a man who can do nothing for us now. When our lives 

have setbacks, like losing a job, fighting with our spouse, being short 

on money no matter how much we work, the devil will use that to pull 

us back into our old mind set, our past, and the old sins we practiced 

for so many years.


The reason I say this is to set up what I'm about to say so you will be 

able to understand my mind set and how it may differ from yours. Not 

too long ago, Chick-Fil-A came under fire for their beliefs as Christians. 

They were going to set up a store in Boston, without mentioning their 

personal beliefs, but the mayor of Boston asked the owner how he felt 

about gays. As a Christian, he answered honestly. He believes it's a sin. 

And the ensuing battle began. 


There were so many nasty posts on FaceBook, Twitter, and many other

sites telling the man he was a "hater" and if he really was a Christian,

wasn't he supposed to love everyone, and didn't the Bible say not to

judge. All he actually had done was answer a question honestly. It was

the mayor of Beantown that caused the problem, and I didn't see 

anyone asking the mayor what difference the man's personal beliefs 

made, he just wanted to grow his business. I think it's the mayor who

was the hater, and instigator, and someone who needs to learn to love

his fellow man.


As Christians, we are commanded to love our fellow man, just as we

are commanded to call sin what it is, and point it out so that the 

person in sin can ask God's forgiveness so that person doesn't go to Hell. 

It is not being judgmental, or hatred, it's pure love for that person.

I hate to think of anyone going to Hell. None of us can fully understand

what Heaven will be like until we get there, nor can we fully under-

stand what Hell will be like but the Bible gives us a good idea of 

both.


Hell is firstly, a separation from God. Secondly, it will be a very lonely,

lonesome place full of horror and torment. It will be a burning lake of

fire and brimstone that lasts for eternity. There will be no second 

chance, no way out and no end. As bad as that sounds, when someone

dies without knowing the Lord Jesus, they don't go straight to Hell.

First, they go to stand before the throne of God. They actually get to

see Heaven and the glory of God before they go to Hell and are sepa-

rated from God.


I wouldn't wish that fate upon anyone. I pray every night for my

children, my grandchildren, my children's spouses, and their families

and mine that are known by blood, marriage, or divorce, and for the

friends they know now, and the ones they are going to meet. I want to

make sure I can cover as many people as possible in the prayer for

Salvation. And then I pray that someone who knows the Lord, or a lot

of someones, will come into contact with each of them and preach

Salvation to them so they will all come to know Jesus as their Savior. I

pray for the people I know and ones i haven't seen since I was a child,

or people I see in Walmart that stick in my mind. I don't want anyone

to go to Hell.



The first chapter in the book of Romans is dedicated to homosexuality

and other perverse behavior,and when the Chick-Fil-A debate was

going on, I often commented on people were saying against the fast 

food place. I have a few friends who are gay and they know my stand- 

ing on the subject. But, like all other sin, God will wipe your slate

clean and give you a brand new life, if only you ask Him.



In 1996, the church I attended in CA invited a man named Dennis

Jernigan to speak, and I was amazed at this man's testimony. He plays

piano and sings, and does both so well, there is no doubt he is blessed

by God. The amazing thing is he was a gay man, who had been

delivered by God. 

Being gay is a sin but like all sin, God can deliver all of us from those 

sins. It's only the lies of Satan that make us believe being gay is okay

with God, or "just the way they were born." 

Mr. Jernigan has been married to his wife for 30 yrs next year. I 

remember when he spoke at my church, he said the Lord told him he

was going to be the father of 9 children. He and his wife had 7, when 

his wife found out she was pregnant again. She told him she didn't care 

what God said, she was done having kids and that was going to be her 

last pregnancy. And it was because she had twins! God is always 

faithful.

If you would like to know more about this fellow Okie, go to the 

following link:


http://www.dennisjernigan.com/djtestimony

What We Dislike In Ourselves...

Have you ever heard the saying, "What we dislike in others is usually what we dislike in ourselves?" It is a true saying and I've often noticed that people who tell me that so and so is such a (?), it sounds as if they are talking about themselves! Not that I'm above such things, but I do try to be self-aware and recognize that if someone is doing something that makes me not care for their presence, perhaps I need to do a little soul searching and see if there is something in me that needs to change.

I've also learned more recently that some of my old behaviors that I've diligently tried to erase, have come to the surface and it has made me feel quite small and guilty. I've been trying to deal, without much success, with the feelings of loss and anger over my daughter and her family suddenly moving to California, followed by my youngest son's move to a different part of California, and then my older son moving his family to yet another part of California. And my youngest daughter and her family moved to Texas. I have felt so alone and lonely since their departures, but especially with my older daughter's move because she and her family have lived with us over the past year and a half, and I am so attached to her children, and especially her son, who just turned a year old on May 11.

As time went by, I thought I would adjust and get over the crying binges, the anger at feeling as if they betrayed me, and the feelings of overwhelming loss of those grandbabies. Instead of prayer helping, it seemed as if every time I prayed, I only felt the loss that much more keenly. I tried keeping up with my Bible reading but the words just seemed to have no meaning. As the days and weeks passed, I became more depressed, more crying binges that lasted longer and longer, and I couldn't even have a conversation with my daughter without feeling as if I had to tell her exactly how much she had hurt me, which only angered her, and then we didn't talk at all. The more time that went without talking, the more I felt as if she and her husband didn't care at all that I was hurt and missing them and the babies. They never once said, "Mom, as soon as we have our own place, we'll make sure there's a bedroom for you and you can visit and stay as long as you like." Which they had done when their daughter was born. I went out to California when she was born, they had a room for me and said I could stay as long as I wished. Since they were staying with relatives, I didn't even think that they were mainly worried about just getting caught up on their bills, and finding their own place, and would, I'm sure, invite me to visit indefinitely once that was accomplished.

If you've read my past posts, you know I have been a mother since age sixteen, and have always had a houseful of kids and grandkids until just the past few weeks. And with my husband, Nathan, working in another state, I have been here alone except for my doggies. Although they are a great comfort, they aren't much for conversation. If you know anything about me, which would mean you've read Dancing With Bear: A Love Story, you know that the past thirteen years of my life has been tumultuous to say the least, and more than any one person should have to deal with in an entire lifetime, let alone such a short period of time. But through it all, I have tried to take it all with grace and knowledge that the Lord is in control and my life is His to do with as He pleases. However, over the past few weeks, I have been so much less than grace-full, and have been downright mean on several occasions. I've said the most awful things to Lisa, just to underscore the depth of the pain I feel.

I am writing about this now because I did call her and apologize, because she didn't deserve such an attitude from her own mother, but also because I know she is probably feeling a little lost herself right now. But the main reason I am making my deplorable actions public is because I know how God works, and I know how the enemy works. My actions have kept me from doing God's will, and that is what happens every time the enemy is allowed to horn in on our lives, no matter where we are or what we are doing.

"Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour." 1 Peter 5:8

It is so easy for us to take our eyes off the Cross of our salvation, the way Peter took his eyes off Jesus while he was walking on water from the boat. (Matthew 14:28-30) We are often like Peter, full of faith one moment, and faith-less the next. We forget who the author and finisher of our faith is, we take our eyes off of Jesus, and look instead at our circumstances and see the worst. Instead of saying, "Jesus, look at our circumstances," we should be saying, "Circumstances, look at our Jesus!"

No matter how long we have been saved, or how long we've been in ministry, there comes times when we are bombarded by negative circumstances, people, and attitudes. We might not handle these situations with the grace we would like to, but the bottom line is, which side we come out of them on. Do we come out with the realization that we were wrong, and need to apologize to the person, or people, we've offended? Do we repent and ask the Lord's forgiveness and trust that He allowed the situation in order for us to learn and grow? Or do we give up and walk away, playing into the enemy's hands?

Keep praying, keep reading the Bible, keep your eyes on the prize, which is our salvation that leads to Heaven.

The Love of My Children & Myself

Over the past few weeks I have experienced an all time low, and I've been extremely depressed. My daughter, her husband, and their two children, who we have shared a home with for the past year and a half, moved to California. My granddaughter is two and a half, and my grandson turned a year old on May 11, 2012. I have lived with these two their entire lives, and I was in California with my daughter when her daughter was born. Their son was born out here and I was there then too. My grandson and I share such a close bond, I feel as if my daughter took my own child from me. And I know my grandson knew something was not right, since just before they drove away, I held him, bawling my eyes out, and he didn't squirm or move, he just laid his head on my shoulder and waited. I love that boy so much, and these weeks without him have been killing me. I cry at the thought of him, and his picture is my screensaver, so I see his cute little face every time I boot my pc or shut it down.

I don't know how to not miss him and his sister, or my daughter and her husband, who is like a son to me as well. Shortly after they moved, my youngest son also moved to California, although a different part, where his wife has been living. A week or so before that, my youngest daughter and her family moved to Texas. So I am all out of grandchildren who live nearby. And now my son, who lives in Missouri, and his family, are moving to yet another part of California. 


I have not felt like doing much lately, and really haven't done much at all. My husband also works out of state, so I have literally been home alone for several weeks. Thank goodness for my doggies, who I know will never leave me. They have been my only comfort.


This past week though, I have been watching my usual shows on TBN and the Church Channel, and one of the shows I never miss is Andrew Wommack. He has been teaching on self-centerdness (Is that a word? Oh, well), and while I have always considered myself as not being self-centered, since I've been a mother since age sixteen, and I've always had a houseful of kids to take care of, and then grandkids, and dogs, and I became a pastor and evangelist, and a drug and alcohol counselor, there have always been others to think of before myself. But as I listened to this teaching each day, I came to realize that even I am guilty of being self-centered. 


There are several other verses on this subject, but the following two are my favorites.  


"Then said Jesus unto his disciples, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.  For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it." Matthew 16:24-25


"I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me." Galatians 2:20


Yet, if I believe these, and I do, then why am I suddenly doubting my sacrifice of self for the heavenly cause? Is it simply a guilty conscience due to a preacher's impassioned words, or conviction of the Holy Spirit? I had to think on these things and consider the past several weeks since my daughter and her family moved away. Of course we expect our children to grow up and move out on their own. And with my older daughter, that has happened, but she usually came home time and again after her bits of time away from home. Even after she moved away to California to be with the man she is now married to, they did move in with us when their daughter was about six or eight months old, and have been here every since. My youngest daughter never moved out for more than a few weeks at a time. Even after she married, she lived at home, while her husband lived with his mother, for about the first six months of their marriage.


Even though we expect our children to move out on their own at some point, whether to go to college, or due to marriage, or perhaps they go to work straight out of high school, as parents, we know they will move out. We also wait for those weekend visits home, and we wait for the announcements of impending parenthood from them, and then we wait for them to bring those little bundles of joy home to visit Nana and Papa, Grams and Gramps, Nanny and Poppy, Grandma and Grandpa, Granny and Grampy, or whatever term we decide our grandchildren will call us. With all of my other grandchildren, I've been pretty much the normal Nana. I send birthday and Christmas presents, wait for school pictures, feel proud when I get news of honor roll and winning sports teams, and show up for high school graduations, weddings, and other events I wouldn't miss for anything. I try not to be too invasive in my children's lives, and I try not to be too nosey in the way they raise their children, and I really try not to be critical, although I've been informed a time or two that I've stuck my nose in where it didn't belong and wasn't welcomed. Hey, I'm normal, give me a break, it wasn't as if I intended to hurt anyone's feelings or make anyone feel as if I was criticizing their parenting techniques. In all honesty, I really was trying to help. I've been there and done that and was only trying to save my child the heartache and heart break I know will come from raising their own children. 


Perhaps it is better my children are all in another state, where my presence doesn't upset or offend anyone. I can visit once or twice a year and continue with the presents and money, and otherwise stay out of their lives where I'm unwanted. Yes, it hurts my feelings. Yes, I feel as if I've been ganged up on since they all left at once. And not mentioning the fact that my youngest has moved back to town, but is apparently not speaking to me because I found out by accident that she is here, I will continue to move forward.


I try not to be self-centered. I try not to think that if I'm not involved in their lives something horrible will happen, and I am the only one who can prevent these things, or the only one who knows how to handle them. I raised kids on my own, and when you do that, you become over-involved, and you become dominant, and you think you should run everyone's lives. After all, when you've done it for so long, and they all turned out rather well, you must know what you're doing, right? Well, apparently not according to them.


So to my children, I apologize. I also promise to stay out of your lives, and I promise to quit butting in, and telling you how you should be doing things, or how I would do them differently. I have raised you to be the men and women you are, and I am proud of each one of you. Because of that I have to trust that you did listen to me at least a little bit while you were growing up and know how to raise your own kids and lead your own lives. I am also going to try and figure out how to live my life without you, which I haven't done since I was sixteen, but I'm sure I'll figure it out. I have a pretty good husband who gets me through these moments when I feel like my only purpose in life was to be your mother and Nana to your children.


I know God has another plan for my life and if I will just quit crying over losing all of you, I will probably be able to hear what that is. So yes, I have discovered that feeling this loss is a form of self-centeredness. It is something I have to come to terms with, learn how to deal with, and move past. It is another stage of my life that I have to move past, because until I do, I won't be able to move into the new stage of my life that God has planned for me.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

I'm looking forward to those plans and the future God has in store for me. I love you all very much, but my love for God comes first, before 
you, before me, before everything. And I'm looking forward to it.

I Used To Be Awesome...

Ever have one of those days where everything is out of whack? Like nothing makes sense anymore and you're not even sure if you're awake because everything is so surreal it could just be a bad dream? That's been my week. Since my daughter and her family moved back to California, my son, Michael has indeed confirmed that he is moving to California, and my youngest son, Cody is meeting with the recruiter about going to Camp Leatherneck, Afghanistan but if that doesn't work out for him, he's moving to California where his wife has been living for over a year. My husband went back to Texas to work, only to be told to come back home because the company's move from Louisiana to Texas isn't a sure thing yet, and may not happen after all.

On top of that, my sixteen-year-old granddaughter has been very ill over the past ten days or so, and my daughter has been taking her from doctor to doctor trying to find out what's wrong with her. Yesterday, Sarah had to call an ambulance to take my granddaughter back to the hospital but this time, they took her into surgery for her gall bladder. Apparently, because she is so young, no other doctor thought to  check her gall bladder. Today, she is feeling much better, even smiling for a picture. I know how worried my daughter was and being all the way out here, there was nothing I could do to help. But all's well, at least with granddaughter and she should be back on her feet in time for prom and her seventeenth birthday.

Sometimes I feel like there's a hurricane and I'm the eye--you know, the calm, quiet place in the center while everything around me is spinning out of control. Not that anyone would ever call me the calm, quiet type but sometimes I feel like everything just spins around me, and I have no control or say-so in any of it. Sometimes, being just the Nana is a terrible place to be. I guess I just haven't grown into the idea of being old, or at least the idea of being old the way my kids and grandkids see me. I see the way they roll their eyes when I say something they don't like, or something they think is old fashioned, opinionated, or just unwanted advice or ideas.

I don't quite know when this happened. I know my kids were like all kids, and couldn't wait to get out of the house and on their own. And I've seen my grandkids grow up, and the difference when they were small and I was awesome, but the older they get, the less awesome they think I am. At some point I have become my grandmother. She was the woman I loved and enjoyed seeing from time to time, but she had weird ideas, her house smelled funny, and she gave me birthday presents I would never use!

Perhaps it's just another of those crazy milestones that we all face if we live long enough. It's funny though, I still think of myself as being really cool, awesome, wise, and I can't quite figure out why my kids and grandkids don't want the benefit of all my years of living that equals all this wisdom.