You Were Not Born That Way

In 1996, my late husband, Bear, and I were ordained after a year of 

being licensed, which was preceded by long, hard hours of studying and 

testing. During our year of licensing, we had to show our worth to be 

ordained. We traveled cross country preaching to bikers, hookers, drug 

dealers, in store-front churches, and anywhere else the Lord led. We 

pastored two churches, had Bible study at our home, worked with drug 

addicts, and held Christian 12-Step programs, as well as facilitating

Christian-based marriage classes. 


Although our lives suffered a setback that I am still trying to deal with 

and recover from, I know who holds my life in His hands, and He alone 

is the maker of Heaven and Earth. He alone decides how we are to live

and act. It is in Him that we have our being. He alone made Adam 

from the dust of the Earth, and blew His own breath into Adam's 

nostrils and gave him life. It is He who gives His Holy Spirit to us, to act

and work through us. It is the God of the Universe who sent His own

Son to suffer and die on the Cross, to shed His blood so that we might

know Him intimately and personally, and have Salvation rather than 

die, spending eternity in Hell, separated from God.


God loves us all. He proved that when Jesus died on the Cross. Love is

a verb, it's action, which is unlike this world that seems to think

love is a noun, a thing you say. But people don't know you love them

just because you say they do, they know it because of the things you 

do for them. I know my husband loves me because he works every day

to pay the bills and make sure I have all that I need and want. He

opens car doors for me, he opens all doors for me, and his greatest 

pleasure is when he can take me to a certain place I love to go for 

breves and scones. He works out of state three weeks and then he 

drives six hundred miles to be home for one week. He drives a truck for 

the oil rigs all over south Texas and Louisiana, so when he gets home, 

you would think he wouldn't want to do much of anything. Instead, he 

takes me to this place I love, and it's a two hundred mile round trip. 

Yes, he drives me two hundred miles so I can have a scone. That is the 

kind of love I'm talking about.


But as much as my husband loves me, he still can't save me from going 

to Hell anymore than i can save him from Hell. Only the blood of Jesus 

can do that, by confessing our sins to Him in prayer, and asking Him to 

be our Savior with sincerity. And then reading the Bible and obeying 

God so that we don't fall back into the sins of our past. It's so easy for 

the devil to tempt us with our past, to tell us that it's nonsense, and 

Jesus was just a man who can do nothing for us now. When our lives 

have setbacks, like losing a job, fighting with our spouse, being short 

on money no matter how much we work, the devil will use that to pull 

us back into our old mind set, our past, and the old sins we practiced 

for so many years.


The reason I say this is to set up what I'm about to say so you will be 

able to understand my mind set and how it may differ from yours. Not 

too long ago, Chick-Fil-A came under fire for their beliefs as Christians. 

They were going to set up a store in Boston, without mentioning their 

personal beliefs, but the mayor of Boston asked the owner how he felt 

about gays. As a Christian, he answered honestly. He believes it's a sin. 

And the ensuing battle began. 


There were so many nasty posts on FaceBook, Twitter, and many other

sites telling the man he was a "hater" and if he really was a Christian,

wasn't he supposed to love everyone, and didn't the Bible say not to

judge. All he actually had done was answer a question honestly. It was

the mayor of Beantown that caused the problem, and I didn't see 

anyone asking the mayor what difference the man's personal beliefs 

made, he just wanted to grow his business. I think it's the mayor who

was the hater, and instigator, and someone who needs to learn to love

his fellow man.


As Christians, we are commanded to love our fellow man, just as we

are commanded to call sin what it is, and point it out so that the 

person in sin can ask God's forgiveness so that person doesn't go to Hell. 

It is not being judgmental, or hatred, it's pure love for that person.

I hate to think of anyone going to Hell. None of us can fully understand

what Heaven will be like until we get there, nor can we fully under-

stand what Hell will be like but the Bible gives us a good idea of 

both.


Hell is firstly, a separation from God. Secondly, it will be a very lonely,

lonesome place full of horror and torment. It will be a burning lake of

fire and brimstone that lasts for eternity. There will be no second 

chance, no way out and no end. As bad as that sounds, when someone

dies without knowing the Lord Jesus, they don't go straight to Hell.

First, they go to stand before the throne of God. They actually get to

see Heaven and the glory of God before they go to Hell and are sepa-

rated from God.


I wouldn't wish that fate upon anyone. I pray every night for my

children, my grandchildren, my children's spouses, and their families

and mine that are known by blood, marriage, or divorce, and for the

friends they know now, and the ones they are going to meet. I want to

make sure I can cover as many people as possible in the prayer for

Salvation. And then I pray that someone who knows the Lord, or a lot

of someones, will come into contact with each of them and preach

Salvation to them so they will all come to know Jesus as their Savior. I

pray for the people I know and ones i haven't seen since I was a child,

or people I see in Walmart that stick in my mind. I don't want anyone

to go to Hell.



The first chapter in the book of Romans is dedicated to homosexuality

and other perverse behavior,and when the Chick-Fil-A debate was

going on, I often commented on people were saying against the fast 

food place. I have a few friends who are gay and they know my stand- 

ing on the subject. But, like all other sin, God will wipe your slate

clean and give you a brand new life, if only you ask Him.



In 1996, the church I attended in CA invited a man named Dennis

Jernigan to speak, and I was amazed at this man's testimony. He plays

piano and sings, and does both so well, there is no doubt he is blessed

by God. The amazing thing is he was a gay man, who had been

delivered by God. 

Being gay is a sin but like all sin, God can deliver all of us from those 

sins. It's only the lies of Satan that make us believe being gay is okay

with God, or "just the way they were born." 

Mr. Jernigan has been married to his wife for 30 yrs next year. I 

remember when he spoke at my church, he said the Lord told him he

was going to be the father of 9 children. He and his wife had 7, when 

his wife found out she was pregnant again. She told him she didn't care 

what God said, she was done having kids and that was going to be her 

last pregnancy. And it was because she had twins! God is always 

faithful.

If you would like to know more about this fellow Okie, go to the 

following link:


http://www.dennisjernigan.com/djtestimony

What's Wrong With TV?

I live out in the boonies and have satellite TV, and I have one of the moderate packages, which gives me about 250 channels. (Now, I won't go off on a tangent about that--at least not in this post!) I spend more time flipping around trying to find something decent to watch, than I do actually watching a show.

 I rarely, if ever, watch NBC, CBS, or ABC. Of the other channels I watch, there is rarely anything that doesn't have inappropriate language, and with the exception of only one or two shows, the rest all have sex, or references to sex, or scenes that suggest sex. And these are daytime and early evening hours, the hours that were once designated "family hours" and all the shows were supposed to be family friendly, and have nothing indecent. Apparently, that no longer applies.


Of every popular network station show on during "family hours," there are words like he**, dam*, and the sexual innuendo isn't even innuendo anymore. Showing couples in bed together talking about the sex they had the night before, friends talking to one another about the sex he or she they spent the night with, including homosexual encounters. Very few of these sexual situations are between married couples, and most of them aren't even between a "couple" who are exclusive to one another, but rather one night stands, and never is mention made of safe sex, or that the results of these casual encounters are pregnancy, which can lead to abortion, and/or sexually transmitted diseases, which, in the case of one night stands, can be passed on and on and on.


Then we get into the so-called "reality" shows. These are the ones I hate the most. Women who dress like prostitutes, with no morals, no self-respect, but are the ones young women are watching. Add to that the shows that glorify teenage pregnancy, and I did read an interview that quoted a 15 year old who wanted to get pregnant so she would get her own TV show and be famous. I've even watched some shows that are supposed to be for young people, and these are on the Disney Channel, no less. The episode I watched took place on a high school campus and showed two girls kissing each other, with the "message" that it's okay to be gay. I've even seen shows that feature young kids, ages nine and ten, who spoke about being gay and their friends laughing at them.


I'm not saying the shows saying 'gay is okay' is worse than the other shows, because they're not. They are all teaching immorality and our youth are the most impressionable. More and more kids are committing suicide, are taking guns to school, are getting arrested for violent crimes, having abortions, using drugs, and going to prison. What's wrong with this picture? The lack of morality in this country. The lack of parents disciplining their children. The lack of God in our schools and our government. And that "separation of church and state" everyone starts hollering about--read your history books. That was included to keep the government out of the church, NOT the church out of government. When God was removed from the classroom, the decline began in a big way. 


Romans 1:24-32

Therefore God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one another. 


They exchanged the truth about God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator—who is forever praised. Amen.


Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural sexual relations for unnatural ones. 


In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed shameful acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their error.


Furthermore, just as they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, so God gave them over to a depraved mind, so that they do what ought not to be done. 


They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are gossips, slanderers, God-haters, insolent, arrogant and boastful; they invent ways of doing evil; they disobey their parents; they have no understanding, no fidelity, no love, no mercy. Although they know God’s righteous decree that those who do such things deserve death, they not only continue to do these very things but also approve of those who practice them.


I put the text in red to bring it to your attention. Look at the list of things going on in Paul's day--sound familiar? We listen to the news and get mad at corporation presidents who are greedy and ripping off the public, we condemn child molesters and rapists, we watch TV shows that promote envy, we hear about murder and crimes and say the criminal gets what he deserves, people gossip about their friends and co-workers, they slander one another, they say God doesn't exist, and they make fun of those who believe in God; people brag about the new car, house, boat, etc. they just bought, they think they are better than others, and when I watch the true crime TV shows, there are crimes committed that I could have never thought up; children disobey their parents, and parents don't discipline them, or are afraid to because all kids know all they have to do is call CPS and report them; people are mean to one another, unfaithful to their spouses, they don't love one another, and have no mercy on anyone. 


And television reflects all of that. I won't watch movies with blatant sex, and I won't watch anything where the actors take the Lord's Name in vain. Why don't they use Buddha's name in vain, or Confucius', or Hitler's maybe, he was a horrible man? We all shout about our government, other countries, inflation, the cost of gas, the price of food, medical care we can't afford, plus a million other things that go on in today's society. Why keep yelling? It doesn't change a thing, but there is a way to change all of it.


If everyone would bow their heads right now and ask Jesus to forgive their sins, believing with their hearts, and begin to act according to God's laws, this world would turn around. We would do away with war, disease, and famine. There would be no need for prisons, bombs, or hospitals even. Poverty would flee. Illness would be a thing of the past. Deserts would become fertile ground for growing food. And the list goes on and on.

If you would like this movement to start in your home, here is the first step:


"Lord, I know I am a sinner and haven't been living the way you want me to. I believe that Jesus is the Christ, who came to earth through a virgin, died on the cross, was buried and rose on the third day, and is coming back one day.


I ask that Jesus live in my heart, and cleanse me of my sins. Let me be an example for my family and friends, so that they will know there is only one God, and one way to Heaven.


I confess with my mouth that Jesus is my Savior and Lord of my life. I thank you and praise you.


In Jesus' holy name. Amen."


If you said that prayer with a sincere heart, your name has been written in God's Book of Life and when you die, you will go to Heaven. Or if the Lord returns before your death, you will be caught up with all of His people. Now, get a Bible and read the book of John in the New Testament. Find a Bible believing church like the Assembly of God, or Pentecostal Church, these two church entities are everywhere, and it's likely you will find one or both close to your house. Visit each one and decide which one you fit in with the best, and attend every week.


Share your salvation with everyone you know, and don't worry about it if they scoff at you, or think you're going through a phase, it happens to all of us. Just stay faithful in reading the Bible and going to church. The more you go, the more you learn, and the more you grow in the Lord. 


God bless you and keep you!

What We Dislike In Ourselves...

Have you ever heard the saying, "What we dislike in others is usually what we dislike in ourselves?" It is a true saying and I've often noticed that people who tell me that so and so is such a (?), it sounds as if they are talking about themselves! Not that I'm above such things, but I do try to be self-aware and recognize that if someone is doing something that makes me not care for their presence, perhaps I need to do a little soul searching and see if there is something in me that needs to change.

I've also learned more recently that some of my old behaviors that I've diligently tried to erase, have come to the surface and it has made me feel quite small and guilty. I've been trying to deal, without much success, with the feelings of loss and anger over my daughter and her family suddenly moving to California, followed by my youngest son's move to a different part of California, and then my older son moving his family to yet another part of California. And my youngest daughter and her family moved to Texas. I have felt so alone and lonely since their departures, but especially with my older daughter's move because she and her family have lived with us over the past year and a half, and I am so attached to her children, and especially her son, who just turned a year old on May 11.

As time went by, I thought I would adjust and get over the crying binges, the anger at feeling as if they betrayed me, and the feelings of overwhelming loss of those grandbabies. Instead of prayer helping, it seemed as if every time I prayed, I only felt the loss that much more keenly. I tried keeping up with my Bible reading but the words just seemed to have no meaning. As the days and weeks passed, I became more depressed, more crying binges that lasted longer and longer, and I couldn't even have a conversation with my daughter without feeling as if I had to tell her exactly how much she had hurt me, which only angered her, and then we didn't talk at all. The more time that went without talking, the more I felt as if she and her husband didn't care at all that I was hurt and missing them and the babies. They never once said, "Mom, as soon as we have our own place, we'll make sure there's a bedroom for you and you can visit and stay as long as you like." Which they had done when their daughter was born. I went out to California when she was born, they had a room for me and said I could stay as long as I wished. Since they were staying with relatives, I didn't even think that they were mainly worried about just getting caught up on their bills, and finding their own place, and would, I'm sure, invite me to visit indefinitely once that was accomplished.

If you've read my past posts, you know I have been a mother since age sixteen, and have always had a houseful of kids and grandkids until just the past few weeks. And with my husband, Nathan, working in another state, I have been here alone except for my doggies. Although they are a great comfort, they aren't much for conversation. If you know anything about me, which would mean you've read Dancing With Bear: A Love Story, you know that the past thirteen years of my life has been tumultuous to say the least, and more than any one person should have to deal with in an entire lifetime, let alone such a short period of time. But through it all, I have tried to take it all with grace and knowledge that the Lord is in control and my life is His to do with as He pleases. However, over the past few weeks, I have been so much less than grace-full, and have been downright mean on several occasions. I've said the most awful things to Lisa, just to underscore the depth of the pain I feel.

I am writing about this now because I did call her and apologize, because she didn't deserve such an attitude from her own mother, but also because I know she is probably feeling a little lost herself right now. But the main reason I am making my deplorable actions public is because I know how God works, and I know how the enemy works. My actions have kept me from doing God's will, and that is what happens every time the enemy is allowed to horn in on our lives, no matter where we are or what we are doing.

"Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour." 1 Peter 5:8

It is so easy for us to take our eyes off the Cross of our salvation, the way Peter took his eyes off Jesus while he was walking on water from the boat. (Matthew 14:28-30) We are often like Peter, full of faith one moment, and faith-less the next. We forget who the author and finisher of our faith is, we take our eyes off of Jesus, and look instead at our circumstances and see the worst. Instead of saying, "Jesus, look at our circumstances," we should be saying, "Circumstances, look at our Jesus!"

No matter how long we have been saved, or how long we've been in ministry, there comes times when we are bombarded by negative circumstances, people, and attitudes. We might not handle these situations with the grace we would like to, but the bottom line is, which side we come out of them on. Do we come out with the realization that we were wrong, and need to apologize to the person, or people, we've offended? Do we repent and ask the Lord's forgiveness and trust that He allowed the situation in order for us to learn and grow? Or do we give up and walk away, playing into the enemy's hands?

Keep praying, keep reading the Bible, keep your eyes on the prize, which is our salvation that leads to Heaven.

Changes In My Future

As the saying goes, the one thing we can be certain of is change. It's probably one of the things I hate the most. Change is uncomfortable and it requires work on my part. Not just physical change, but the mentality that goes with the change. I have had quite  a few changes going on lately, just dropped into my lap like a bomb without notice, and I've had to adjust and accept. That isn't easy for me because I like things the way they are.

My daughter announced she and her husband were moving to California. This information was dropped on me without preamble yesterday. I woke up this morning to find them packing up their clothes and the kids getting ready to leave. "I thought you were leaving Thursday?" I said as I headed to the kitchen for coffee. "We were but Mike has to be there by eight Friday morning for a drug test." That was it, an hour later, amongst all the tears, and my 2-year-old granddaughter insisting her one-year-old brother was staying here, they were one their way to California. My day hasn't been very productive since their departure. After that, I sign in to my Face Book account to see my son, Michael, who lives in Missouri, has announced he and his family are leaving for California the end of the month. I suppose calling to let mama know would have been too much trouble. Later, my youngest son calls and says he may also be moving to California because he needs a better job and he's fed up with the one he has here.

So, these three kids of mine will all be in California, and all in different parts of California. It might seem like mom should move to California too but that would happen only over my husband's dead and rotting corpse. Having been born and raised in California, I left there for a reason and except for visits, haven't been back in nearly twenty years.

I do wonder about the timing of these moves and the connection they may have to God answering my prayers. I often tell people that you cannot remain where you are and go with God at the same time. God requires us to get up and move, to really reach out to others and to be a living, breathing, part of His plan. I have been praying about this very thing, about getting up and doing what God wants me to do. Perhaps with my children and grandchildren out of my house, I will now feel better about doing whatever it is God wants me to do. I realize I have created many excuses for staying home because Lisa was here, the babies were here, and they gave me the excuse to remain where I am.

So, whatever God has planned for my future, I am still praying but apparently have been freed up in order to move when God says, "Move!"

Communicating With God

I am a born again Christian although I don't claim a "religion." In my opinion, religion is something people do to get noticed by others, or to control others. I believe in the Bible and that it is the divine word of God, given to man for living the way we should. I believe that God is who He says He is, that Christ died on the cross for my sins, and was raised on the third day, and now sits on the right hand of God in Heaven. I believe Christ will return and all of those who have accepted Him as their Savior will rule and reign with Him in the new Jerusalem. I believe the Bible says what it means and means what it says, and that it is a light to those who have accepted Christ as their Savior and darkness to those who haven't. I believe only a fool says there is no God and those who die without accepting Christ as their Savior will go to Hell.

I believe no person needs to go through a priest or any other human being to have direct contact with Jesus. I also believe that praying to "saints" or to the "virgin Mary" is no different than praying to a brick wall. Mary was the virgin who conceived through the Holy Spirit and gave birth to our Savior Jesus Christ, but afterward she was a wife like any other wife and went on to have relations with Joseph and gave birth to other children. All of this is in the Bible but you have to read it in order to know it.

In the Name of Jesus we all have access to God, to life everlasting, and I hope those who think the Bible is "confusing and too difficult to understand" (as a proclaimed female ordained minister stated), will accept Jesus as their Savior and allow the Lord to make His Word a light unto their path.

It's very simple and if you are sincere and repent of your sins, ask Jesus to cleanse your sins and live within you as your Savior, He will.

Lord Jesus, I know I am a sinner and I have not lived my life for You. I ask Your forgiveness and I ask You to cleanse my sins and show me how to live for You. In Jesus' Holy Name, Amen.

Yes, it is that easy. And I hope, if you've prayed this prayer, you will let me know. I would love to continue to hold you up in prayer each day while you are learning to walk in His footsteps. I also have a gift for you if you have said this prayer and send me an email at dancingwithbear at gmail dot com.

God bless you,
Marie