Comfort & Joy

Forgiving those who have hurt us can be one of the most difficult things we ever have to do. In fact, it’s so difficult that there is a very popular saying, “I may forgive but I will never forget.” I’ve even heard this come from Christians but nothing can be farther from the teachings of Christ.

1 John 1:9 tells us that, “He forgives us and cleanses us from all unrighteousness.” Not only are we forgiven for our sins but they are no longer remembered by God. He takes our sins, throws them into a Hefty Bag, and then tosses it into a big dump that only God has the directions to.

          God is not a god who reminds us of our faults of yesterday but of our abilities through Him for all of our tomorrows. God wants us to shine, to minister to others, to represent His Son, Jesus, wherever we go, and to win souls to the Kingdom of Heaven.

          One of the biggest things we will have to do in order to accomplish this is to forgive and forget our own past. Yes, I said to forget the past, not just forgive the past but forget it ever existed. That includes not only forgiving others but one’s self, which is a difficult task, I know.

          I am one of those people who bear the weight of the world on their shoulders. I think that I am responsible for everything everyone else does, and if I had just said or done one thing differently, the entire outcome of everyone else’s lives would be different. I ride on waves of guilt that seem to well up within me from nowhere at all. I allow the consequences of other people’s actions to land on me, and make me feel as if I am responsible for what they have done.

          What I had to come to terms with is I am not God. Imagine that—I am just one of several billion people who occupy earth and take up oxygen, living a very ordinary life. I cannot make anyone do or say anything they don’t want to, and beating myself up over what other’s do only drives me farther from the love and grace of God.

          I have laid in bed crying in anguish over my ex-husband who passed away. (Dancing With Bear: A Love Story) I was so distraught over his passing, and convinced that I could have done or said something to someone, somewhere, that would have prevented his death. I loved this man for more than half my life and his passing felt as if it would destroy me. It was just one more thing the devil had in his arsenal against me, and he used it well.

          The truth is, the devil is out to kill, steal, and destroy (John 10:10) your life on  earth, and ultimately, your soul. He doesn’t want you to live happily with God’s blessings, no, he wants you to be miserable and unhappy, and he wants your soul in Hell with him.

There is a saying among Christians, “We know how the story ends and the devil loses.” Yes, he loses but in the meantime, he is active in this world to make sure he takes down as many of us as he can in the time he has left.

          So, how does the devil work? Unbelief is his greatest ally. For those who don’t believe in God, the devil doesn’t really have to worry about them. He knows they have what they want—money, drugs, fame, or whatever it is—and that is their reward. But for those of us who believe in God, who believe Jesus is the Savior of the world, we can expect the devil to do his best to destroy our lives. The devil is a coward, he never just confronts us directly, no, he likes to use those things that make us most vulnerable. The biggest of those is our past.

          Don’t we all let our past get to us? Don’t we obsess on all the things we have done wrong in our lives? And don’t we dwell on the things others have done to us? These are the devil’s weapons. He knows where to jab, punch, and kick. He knows how to use our guilt and unhappiness against us.

The Bible describes the devil as “…your great adversary, the devil… prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour.” (1 Peter 5:8) But verse nine says, “Stand firm against him, and be strong in your faith…”

So, the only way to defeat the devil is to be strong in our faith in Jesus Christ and the Word of God, the Bible.

          I know sometimes that is so difficult, especially if you are new to Christianity and are just learning the Bible. When we are brand new, baby Christians, we still have our old non-Christian baggage that we drag around behind us. We haven’t figured out yet how to let it go, or what to do with it. And the devil knows this.

          What is inside your bag? Were you hurt as a child? Abused physically, sexually, emotionally? Have you been raped, lived with an abusive partner, or been a drug addict? Were you a prostitute? Do you have a sexually transmitted disease there is no cure for? Were you a criminal, served time in prison? Or perhaps nothing in your life has ever worked out for you, and everything you have tried to do has come to nothing?

          No matter what is in your bag, God can rid you of it, but the first step is allowing God to have full control of your life. And to allow God to do that means to forgive yourself and those who have harmed you.

Forgiving those who have hurt us can be one of the most difficult things we ever have to do. In fact, it’s so difficult that there is a very popular saying, “I may forgive but I will never forget.” I’ve even heard this come from Christians but nothing can be farther from the teachings of Christ.

1 John 1:9 tells us that, “He forgives us and cleanses us from all unrighteousness.” Not only are we forgiven for our sins but they are no longer remembered by God. He takes our sins, throws them into a Hefty Bag, and then tosses it into a big dump that only God has the directions to.

          God is not a god who reminds us of our faults of yesterday but of our abilities through Him for all of our tomorrows. God wants us to shine, to minister to others, to represent His Son, Jesus, wherever we go, and to win souls to the Kingdom of Heaven.

          One of the biggest things we will have to do in order to accomplish this is to forgive and forget our own past. Yes, I said to forget the past, not just forgive the past but forget it ever existed. That includes not only forgiving others but one’s self, which is a difficult task, I know.

          I am one of those people who bear the weight of the world on their shoulders. I think that I am responsible for everything everyone else does, and if I had just said or done one thing differently, the entire outcome of everyone else’s lives would be different. I ride on waves of guilt that seem to well up within me from nowhere at all. I allow the consequences of other people’s actions to land on me, and make me feel as if I am responsible for what they have done.

          What I had to come to terms with is I am not God. Imagine that—I am just one of several billion people who occupy earth and take up oxygen, living a very ordinary life. I cannot make anyone do or say anything they don’t want to, and beating myself up over what other’s do only drives me farther from the love and grace of God.

          I have laid in bed crying in anguish over my ex-husband who passed away. (Dancing With Bear: A Love Story) I was so distraught over his passing, and convinced that I could have done or said something to someone, somewhere, that would have prevented his death. I loved this man for more than half my life and his passing felt as if it would destroy me. It was just one more thing the devil had in his arsenal against me, and he used it well.

          The truth is, the devil is out to kill, steal, and destroy (John 10:10) your life on  earth, and ultimately, your soul. He doesn’t want you to live happily with God’s blessings, no, he wants you to be miserable and unhappy, and he wants your soul in Hell with him.

There is a saying among Christians, “We know how the story ends and the devil loses.” Yes, he loses but in the meantime, he is active in this world to make sure he takes down as many of us as he can in the time he has left.

          So, how does the devil work? Unbelief is his greatest ally. For those who don’t believe in God, the devil doesn’t really have to worry about them. He knows they have what they want—money, drugs, fame, or whatever it is—and that is their reward. But for those of us who believe in God, who believe Jesus is the Savior of the world, we can expect the devil to do his best to destroy our lives. The devil is a coward, he never just confronts us directly, no, he likes to use those things that make us most vulnerable. The biggest of those is our past.

          Don’t we all let our past get to us? Don’t we obsess on all the things we have done wrong in our lives? And don’t we dwell on the things others have done to us? These are the devil’s weapons. He knows where to jab, punch, and kick. He knows how to use our guilt and unhappiness against us.

The Bible describes the devil as “…your great adversary, the devil… prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour.” (1 Peter 5:8) But verse nine says, “Stand firm against him, and be strong in your faith…”

So, the only way to defeat the devil is to be strong in our faith in Jesus Christ and the Word of God, the Bible.

          I know sometimes that is so difficult, especially if you are new to Christianity and are just learning the Bible. When we are brand new, baby Christians, we still have our old non-Christian baggage that we drag around behind us. We haven’t figured out yet how to let it go, or what to do with it. And the devil knows this.

          What is inside your bag? Were you hurt as a child? Abused physically, sexually, emotionally? Have you been raped, lived with an abusive partner, or been a drug addict? Were you a prostitute? Do you have a sexually transmitted disease there is no cure for? Were you a criminal, served time in prison? Or perhaps nothing in your life has ever worked out for you, and everything you have tried to do has come to nothing?

          No matter what is in your bag, God can rid you of it, but the first step is allowing God to have full control of your life. And to allow God to do that means to forgive yourself and those who have harmed you.

                                                              www.mariemcgaha.com

Marie McGaha is an author, editor, & owner of Dancing With Bear Publishing. She is the author of several books in genres ranging from Christian nonfiction, historical fiction, to contemporary romance. She was named as one of the 50 Authors You Should Be Reading 2016.

She lives on a farm in SE Oklahoma with her truck driver husband, Nathan, and a plethora of farm animals, and a houseful of dogs.

50 Great Authors You Should Be Reading

I am very proud and honored to be included in the 2016 "50 Great Writers You Should Be Reading" from The Author's Show.

Click http://50greatwritersyoushouldbereading.com for the full list.

www.mariemcgaha.com

Our Good Deeds

I read a thing today about this woman who was talking about how she's not a church-going Christian although she does believe in God she says, and while in a fast food place, she felt the need to buy breakfast for two homeless men who had no money.

That is great, I'm glad that she did buy those two men breakfast, they needed it. I've done it a million times, I know people who've done it a million times, and it's good that people do that, but buying a homeless person breakfast does not make you a Christian. It might make you a good person for the moment but that's it.

Isaiah 64:6 says, But we are all like an unclean thing and all our righteousness are like filthy rags...

The term "filthy rags" is very strong language for Isaiah's day. He is actually comparing our good deeds and righteousness to the rags that women used while on their period.

 Titus 2:5 says not by works of righteousness which we have done but according to his Mercy he saved us through the washing of regeneration and renewing of the Holy Spirit.

That word "renewing" is the Greek word, anakainosis, a combination of "ana" (again) & "kainos" (new), which means renovation, restoration, transformation, and a change of heart and life. It means an adjustment of one's moral and spiritual vision.

 Our good deeds will not lead us to Heaven. The road to Heaven is paved with good intentions and the road to hell is going to have a line of people who have been doing good deeds all of their lives.

While we are admonished to produce fruit with our works, we are also cautioned that our works are nothing. James 2:14-26

 Jesus said, "I am the way, the truth, and the life, no one comes to the father except through me." John 14:6

For by Grace you have been saved through faith and not of yourselves, it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast. Ephesians 2:8-9

The only way our good works means anything at all after the moment that we have done them, is if they are done in the context of a relationship with Jesus Christ.

For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh) there is nothing good... Romans 7:18

But of Him you are in Christ Jesus, who became for us wisdom from God - and righteousness and sanctification and Redemption
1 Corinthians 1:30

So if you are going to brag about your good deeds, make sure they're coming from the right place. If your good deeds are not because of a relationship with Jesus Christ, you may as well not even do them because in the end, they are not going to get  you anywhere. And if you are doing good deeds just to get brownie points in this world, and if what you do in this world is the only thing that you are concerned about, then you have truly missed the mark.

Do not  lay up for yourselves treasures on Earth where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in Heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroy and where thieves do not break in and steal, for where your treasure is there your heart will also be.
Matthew 6:19-21

What Do You Mean I'm Fat? Part 2

On August 21, 2014 I had gastric sleeve surgery. I wasn't sure that the surgery was going to really work. I had been fat for a very long time. I had been on every diet known to man and then some, so I didn't have a whole lot of faith in this surgery either.

But I began to lose weight almost immediately. I actually lost 25 pounds the first 3 days I was in the hospital. Over the next few weeks following the surgery from August 21st until December 1, 2014 I lost 100 pounds.

The weight came off quite easily for me. However, because I was losing so much weight so quickly, I felt weak & dizzy. I was nauseous & I spent a lot of time in bed.

By January 2015 I began to quit losing weight at such a rapid pace and I begin to feel better. I could not eat enough to really keep up my strength but finally, by January, I was able to eat a little more often and I started feeling a whole lot better. I still wasn't convinced that I had done the right thing.

The doctor told me that I would wonder if I had made the right decision. He also told me that eventually I would be happy with the decision I made. In January 2015 I had not come to a place where I was happy about my decision, even though I had lost so much weight.

Over the next couple of months I lost about another 15 pounds, and as my weight began to level off, I stopped losing weight and I did begin to feel a lot better. Once I began to buy new clothes and I had gone from a size 16W to a size 0, I got quite a bit happier.

I am now 2 years and 4 months out of surgery, my weight has leveled off and I weigh about 130 pounds. At my lowest I had gotten down to 118 pounds, but I did gain some of that back simply because I'm 5'7" and 118 pounds is way too skinny.

I am happy that I had the surgery. Would I do it again? Probably not. The reason being is that I never have that feeling of, you know how when you're really hungry and you eat something like a cheeseburger or you just have some ribs with the grease and sauce running down your arms and dripping off your elbows, and you eat it and you feel so good, and your stomach is like stretchy full, and you're like, oh my gosh, that was the best food ever?
I never have that feeling anymore. I miss that feeling at Thanksgiving, 4th of July, Christmas and Easter where you get to eat a lot of good food and then have to diet for the week following, but it just feels good eating all of that food, and I don't get to do that anymore.

There's a lot of foods I don't get to eat at all. I can't drink pop, and not that I was a big pop drinker, but I do like to have a Coke every now and then, and I can't drink Coke. I have to watch everything I put in my mouth. I have to plan for events. I have to plan for things like eating bread, or having a piece of dessert like pumpkin pie at Thanksgiving, and I gain weight back very easily if I'm not very careful with my diet.

So, while I can't say that I regret having the gastric sleeve surgery, because it did make my blood pressure go back to normal & I haven't been on any kind of medication in almost a year, including pain pills, I do wish I had chosen another route, like maybe a fat farm or something instead of the surgery.

If you are thinking of having some type of weight loss surgery, I would suggest that you really speak with your doctor, then speak with others who have had the surgery, and know exactly what you're getting into before you make a life-altering decision that you can't change.

What Do You Mean I'm Fat? Part I

I weighed 235 pounds. It wasn't just my weight though, I also had had 3 hip surgeries, neck surgery, along with spinal stenosis, a crushed disc, a cracked disc that was leaking spinal fluid into the surrounding tissue, and I had fibromyalgia and to top it all off, I was also diagnosed with carpal tunnel syndrome. I was in an enormous amount of pain and it hurt to move. I used to dance, perform in a Christian drama troupe, and run around with my kids but as my physical condition worsened and the more pain I was in, the less I felt like moving, the more depressed I became, and I ate to comfort myself. It became a vicious cycle - pain, lack of activity, more pain, food, depression, food, food, food! My weight increased and so did my depression, so I ate more because I felt sorry for myself.
In August 2014 my blood pressure sky-rocketed to stroke level. The doctor told me if I didn't lose weight and lower my blood pressure, I'd have a lethal stroke before the year was out. That kind of news shocked me completely. I already knew that my weight was putting so much pressure on already destroyed joints, discs and bones that the pain was nearly unbearable and I was on some heavy-duty pain meds. I was also getting regualr steroid/lidocaine injections in my muscles, plus injections directly into my spine while I was under anesthesia. But to hear that my weight had caused my blood pressure to get out of control to the point it would kill me was a whole other matter.
That was when I saw a weight-loss doctor, and to my surprise, my insurance would pay for all but $600 of the surgery. So, on August 21, 2014 I was admitted to the hospital for a gastric sleeve surgery.

This is me Christmas 2013. And getting fatter!

Don't miss Part II!

Forging Freedom

       My 5x greatgrandfather, Captain John Files fought in the Revolutionary War with three of his sons at his side. During the Battle of Cowpens, he was gravely injured, and his sons were POW's. Capt John's wife, Mary Catherine Manley-Files, came to the aide of her husband by organizing the people who were able to help by getting beds, clean linens, bandages, and food to the wounded. 
       She then took a satchel with food to the enemy camp where her sons, along with several other soldiers, were being held in the livery stable. When approached by a Yankee soldier, she told him she was just bringing food to her sons. The soldier asked to see the contents, and she sat the basket down, opened the cloth, withdrew a butcher knife and slit the man's throat, severing the carotid artery, killing the soldier. She then rescued her sons and the other soldiers. 
       This story, titled "Freedom Worth Dying For" is to be included in the magazine, "Forging Freedom" coming this fall. You can pre-order right now, and if you want an autographed copy, send me a message at marie @ mariemcgaha.com (no spaces) and I'll tell you how to do it!
       
       For more about this story and the rest of the stories included in the magazine, please go to Forging Freedom.

Award Winning Author Debra Shively Welch

I live in Central Ohio with my husband Mark of 26 years, and my 21-year-old son Christopher.  We live on a beautiful lake which I often feature in my writing and which has also played a part in my son’s publications as well.

A sushi chef, Chris loves other types of cooking as well and we are working on a cookbook titled Christopher’s Family Table, the emphasis being on the fact that not all family members are blood related, but are in fact, adopted.  Whether adopted through marriage (the married couple adopts each other’s family) or friends that you bring into your life forever, or the formal adoption of a child, these relationships are important to who we are and are often expressed through food.  Think about it.  Have you ever sat down to eat with someone you dislike?

I am also working on a sequel to my son’s book Christopher Bullfrog Catcher.  It is called Christopher Meets Buddy and teaches the proper care of a pet bird.  Subsequent books will address other pets.

In addition, I’m working on the sequel to Cedar Woman, titled Ista Numpa.  The readers of Cedar Woman wanted a book about Cedar Woman’s best friend Nickie, or Ista Numpa, so I am now taking notes, setting up an outline and filling out character sheets and a time line for this book.  It will deal mainly with domestic violence.

I am also working on, and have almost finished, an anthology of short stories and poems called Swinging Bridge.  All of the works are about a type of transition.  Walking across a swinging bridge can be very intimidating, and sometimes you’re afraid that you won’t make it to the other side…but you do.  That is the basic theme of this work.  It will be released this fall.

A percentage of royalties for all of our books goes to Operation Smile.  I do this in gratitude for my most precious gift, my son, adopted and born with cleft lip and palate.

Following are the URLs to my web page, FaceBook and Twitter pages:

http://debrashiveleywelchloveandwriting.blogspot.com/

https://www.facebook.com/DShiveleyWelch?ref=hl

https://twitter.com/DebraSWelch

 Debra's books and links to where you can find them:

 

Cedar Woman

Cedar Woman is a powerful book filled with courage, romance and the beliefs, ceremonies and language of the Lakota Sioux.  Travel with her to Columbus, Ohio as she rebuilds her life, and the lives of her family. Join her in the sweat lodge as she follows Zitka Mine to the fifth step of the edge of the world to find her father's soul.

Follow her to powwow where she meets her half side, and works toward her goal of establishing the first Central Ohio Native American restaurant in the nearby suburb of Westerville.

http://tinyurl.com/p469mlp

Son of My Soul – The Adoption of Christopher

It would be easy to accept this book as 'another adoption story', that is until you read it. From the first words the reader is caught up in the account, enthralled by not just the tale but the telling of it. Ms. Shiveley Welch's talent reveals the journey to love, her decision to adopt instead of giving birth, her new and wonderful child and most of all her earnest desire and steadfast belief that everything would come to pass.

Son of My Soul – The Adoption of Christopher is not just about the joys of motherhood, but is also a self-help book about breaking the circle of child abuse.  The author considers her childhood as ‘boot camp’ and uses the lessons learned from her own abuse to help her beloved son through many surgeries and therapies to correct cleft lip as the and palate.

http://tinyurl.com/pwy63dx

 

Just Chris by Christopher Shiveley Welch

Just Chris, is more than a boy telling of his life. It is a story that surely will bring encouragement to many who face challenges, feel worthless due to some physical handicap, or face rejection in anyway. It is a story of hope, courage and steadfast love. I believe Christopher has an exciting life ahead of him, and he will fly to heights that even he cannot imagine at this time. A great read, from a great young man.

http://tinyurl.com/p3gkwsk

A Very Special Child

A book written from the heart of a mother, one who adopted a child and found her true calling.  A Very Special Child unfolds the story of adoption in a spiritual way, explaining adoption to a child in a simple, lovely way.

http://tinyurl.com/orlktrs

Christopher Bullfrog Catcher

Christopher Bullfrog Catcher is a fun way to teach your child how to write. The reader is taught how to follow a simple formula in order to create their own special story. Add to that a guide on how to catch bullfrogs, and a message regarding the care and respect of these fascinating creatures, and you have a book that your child will want to pass on to their own children.

http://tinyurl.com/pkcxbue

 

Jesus Gandhi Oma Mae Adams

Jesus Gandhi Oma Mae Adams is a murder mystery co-written by cousins, Debra Shiveley Welch and Linda Lee Greene. Religion and murder combine in this breathless escape. A well written narrative that keeps the pages turning.

http://tinyurl.com/qxpdxnp

Interview:

1.      Why did you become a writer…was it a dream of yours since you were younger or did the desire to write happen later in your life?

I write, therefore I am.  That says it all.  I began writing at age nine and was first published at age 26.  I’ve always loved the music of words and am so thrilled when I manage to write something that makes me think, I can’t believe I wrote that!  An example is the beginning of the first chapter in Cedar Woman:

Slowly, slowly, Grandfather Sun began his ascent.  Gliding, floating, he moved above the horizon as blue and lavender and mauve filled the sky.

            Birdsong married with fragrant air, as Wakan Tanka[1]  stretched His fingers across the sky, pushing back the night, heralding the dawning of a new day.

It is truly thrilling when you see progression in your writing.  I’m addicted.  I admit it.

2.      What was the inspiration for your latest work?

My son and I were adopted by a woman of the Lakota Sioux.  We went through the naming, sweat lodge, pipe and hunkapi ceremonies.  Hunkapi means “making of relatives.”  So I became her Tanksa (older sister) and she is my Cuwayla (younger sister).   Traditionally the Lakota do not consider a person’s siblings as the aunts and uncles of their children.  They are also their parents.  So a child will have multiple parents and his or her cousins are brothers and sisters.  Therefore, Chris calls my sister Ina (mother) and her son Logan calls me the same.

It is a beautiful culture where the honoring of the elders, military, veterans, etc. is central and their love of the environment is phenomenal.

I wrote Cedar Woman to honor my sister, Julie Spotted Eagle Horse Martineau.  She has treated me with more kindness and respect than most of my blood relatives and I love her with all of my heart.

 

3.      What was the most interesting research you had to do for any of your books? 

Learning the Lakota language!  I still can’t pronounce a lot of it correctly, but it was good for my, at that time, 50 + year brain to learn something new.

Learning the customs and basic beliefs was also fascinating.

4.      I know you are an award winning author, Debra. Tell me about the awards you’ve won, and the books you won them for.

A Very Special Child won FaithWriter’s Gold Seal of Approval – Outstanding Read;

Son of My Soul – The Adoption of Christopher won FaithWriter’s Gold Seal of Approval – Outstanding Read, Best Non-Fiction of 2010 and Editor’s Choice for 2011.  Cedar Woman has won Best Native American Fiction 2012.

5.      How did you decide to write books for kids? Have you always wanted to write children’s books, or did that come about later on?

I like to write in all genres.  I’m crazy about kids and like to produce books which not only entertain, but teach as well.

6.      You have also written books for adults.  How did that occur?

I like to mix it up.  A children’s book here, a cook book there, with a murder mystery or romance in between.  It keeps my brain hopping.

7.      What’s your writing schedule like?  When do you find time to write?

I am editor in chief for Saga Books and usually begin my day with a few hours of editing other people’s works.  I then try to get an hour or two for short stories, or sometimes I blog.  Finally I get to work on my own projects which can last until the wee hours of the morning.

8.      Do you have any writing idiosyncrasies?

I don’t know if you would call them idiosyncrasies, but I like to have a beverage, snack and whatever else I’ll need at the ready so that I don’t have to get up to get something and thereby break my train of thought.  I also like to use character sheets in which I ‘map out’ a character’s hair color, eyes, height, weight, time of birth, likes, dislikes.  It makes them real to me.  I also like to write with a timeline so that I don’t get lost or make a mistake in writing.

I love to research and particularly enjoy interviewing people who I think can help me make a story more believable.

For instance, in Cedar Woman I chose a restaurant that does exist.  I researched its many incarnations covering well over 100 years and the hauntings.  I interviewed, not only people in the library and local historians, but people who now work in that restaurant as to what they’ve seen and heard.

9.      What’s the most challenging aspect of writing for you?

Getting it right!  If I say it’s July 18, 2010 at sunrise and name the time, I check to make sure that the sunrise was indeed at the time I gave, that I was correct on what day of the week it happened and the weather for that day.

While co-writing Jesus Gandhi Oma Mae Adams I interviewed the person who gives permission for individuals to be buried at Arlington Cemetery.

I want it to be correct with no slip ups, so I check, and then I check and then I double check.

---

[1] Wah-kah Than-kah – Mysterious Creator