Forgive & Forget

For I will be merciful to their unrighteousness, and their sins and their lawless deeds I will remember no more.
Hebrews 8:12

It's never easy to forgive someone who has caused us pain, who have injured us, we have abused us, or have forced themselves on us in some way. But we are commanded by the Lord to forgive others just as Jesus forgives us of our sins. The Bible says that if we don't forgive others, then we won't be forgiven (Mat. 6:15).

The person we need to forgive might not deserve it but we still have to do it. Forgiving someone is a conscious effort of your will. It is something that you have to decide on your own to do. It is not predicated by the person wanting forgiveness, deserving forgiveness, asking you to forgive them, or for them even being sorry for what they did to you.

Forgiveness doesn't mean that you just say, "I forgive you," because you can say it but it doesn't make it true. It's something that you have to will yourself to do but the essence of forgiveness is that after you have decided to forgive someone, you can no longer hold it against them.

You can't bring it up to them ever again. You can't remind them of what they did to you. You can't keep reliving it to make them feel guilty for what they did to you. You don't forgive for them, you forgive for YOU.

You have to let go of the bitterness, anger, disappointment, and yes, even the guilt that you may feel that somehow you were responsible for the abuse in some remote way, even though you're not.  You may have been told that it was your fault but you do not make other people hurt you. You cannot make another person abuse you. You can stick around and let them continue to do it but you never MAKE them do it, that's an act of their will.

Even so, we are commanded to forgive and we are commanded to let it go. I'm not saying that it's easy because it's not. It can take years to come to a place of forgiveness for the person(s) who have hurt you in your past. But you have to actively seek that ability through prayer, through the Bible, & through fellowship with people who have been through the same things you have.

Forgiving and forgetting the horrors of our past is how we move forward, and are able to live fully the life that God has planned for us.

          www.mariemcgaha.com

Comfort & Joy

Forgiving those who have hurt us can be one of the most difficult things we ever have to do. In fact, it’s so difficult that there is a very popular saying, “I may forgive but I will never forget.” I’ve even heard this come from Christians but nothing can be farther from the teachings of Christ.

1 John 1:9 tells us that, “He forgives us and cleanses us from all unrighteousness.” Not only are we forgiven for our sins but they are no longer remembered by God. He takes our sins, throws them into a Hefty Bag, and then tosses it into a big dump that only God has the directions to.

          God is not a god who reminds us of our faults of yesterday but of our abilities through Him for all of our tomorrows. God wants us to shine, to minister to others, to represent His Son, Jesus, wherever we go, and to win souls to the Kingdom of Heaven.

          One of the biggest things we will have to do in order to accomplish this is to forgive and forget our own past. Yes, I said to forget the past, not just forgive the past but forget it ever existed. That includes not only forgiving others but one’s self, which is a difficult task, I know.

          I am one of those people who bear the weight of the world on their shoulders. I think that I am responsible for everything everyone else does, and if I had just said or done one thing differently, the entire outcome of everyone else’s lives would be different. I ride on waves of guilt that seem to well up within me from nowhere at all. I allow the consequences of other people’s actions to land on me, and make me feel as if I am responsible for what they have done.

          What I had to come to terms with is I am not God. Imagine that—I am just one of several billion people who occupy earth and take up oxygen, living a very ordinary life. I cannot make anyone do or say anything they don’t want to, and beating myself up over what other’s do only drives me farther from the love and grace of God.

          I have laid in bed crying in anguish over my ex-husband who passed away. (Dancing With Bear: A Love Story) I was so distraught over his passing, and convinced that I could have done or said something to someone, somewhere, that would have prevented his death. I loved this man for more than half my life and his passing felt as if it would destroy me. It was just one more thing the devil had in his arsenal against me, and he used it well.

          The truth is, the devil is out to kill, steal, and destroy (John 10:10) your life on  earth, and ultimately, your soul. He doesn’t want you to live happily with God’s blessings, no, he wants you to be miserable and unhappy, and he wants your soul in Hell with him.

There is a saying among Christians, “We know how the story ends and the devil loses.” Yes, he loses but in the meantime, he is active in this world to make sure he takes down as many of us as he can in the time he has left.

          So, how does the devil work? Unbelief is his greatest ally. For those who don’t believe in God, the devil doesn’t really have to worry about them. He knows they have what they want—money, drugs, fame, or whatever it is—and that is their reward. But for those of us who believe in God, who believe Jesus is the Savior of the world, we can expect the devil to do his best to destroy our lives. The devil is a coward, he never just confronts us directly, no, he likes to use those things that make us most vulnerable. The biggest of those is our past.

          Don’t we all let our past get to us? Don’t we obsess on all the things we have done wrong in our lives? And don’t we dwell on the things others have done to us? These are the devil’s weapons. He knows where to jab, punch, and kick. He knows how to use our guilt and unhappiness against us.

The Bible describes the devil as “…your great adversary, the devil… prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour.” (1 Peter 5:8) But verse nine says, “Stand firm against him, and be strong in your faith…”

So, the only way to defeat the devil is to be strong in our faith in Jesus Christ and the Word of God, the Bible.

          I know sometimes that is so difficult, especially if you are new to Christianity and are just learning the Bible. When we are brand new, baby Christians, we still have our old non-Christian baggage that we drag around behind us. We haven’t figured out yet how to let it go, or what to do with it. And the devil knows this.

          What is inside your bag? Were you hurt as a child? Abused physically, sexually, emotionally? Have you been raped, lived with an abusive partner, or been a drug addict? Were you a prostitute? Do you have a sexually transmitted disease there is no cure for? Were you a criminal, served time in prison? Or perhaps nothing in your life has ever worked out for you, and everything you have tried to do has come to nothing?

          No matter what is in your bag, God can rid you of it, but the first step is allowing God to have full control of your life. And to allow God to do that means to forgive yourself and those who have harmed you.

Forgiving those who have hurt us can be one of the most difficult things we ever have to do. In fact, it’s so difficult that there is a very popular saying, “I may forgive but I will never forget.” I’ve even heard this come from Christians but nothing can be farther from the teachings of Christ.

1 John 1:9 tells us that, “He forgives us and cleanses us from all unrighteousness.” Not only are we forgiven for our sins but they are no longer remembered by God. He takes our sins, throws them into a Hefty Bag, and then tosses it into a big dump that only God has the directions to.

          God is not a god who reminds us of our faults of yesterday but of our abilities through Him for all of our tomorrows. God wants us to shine, to minister to others, to represent His Son, Jesus, wherever we go, and to win souls to the Kingdom of Heaven.

          One of the biggest things we will have to do in order to accomplish this is to forgive and forget our own past. Yes, I said to forget the past, not just forgive the past but forget it ever existed. That includes not only forgiving others but one’s self, which is a difficult task, I know.

          I am one of those people who bear the weight of the world on their shoulders. I think that I am responsible for everything everyone else does, and if I had just said or done one thing differently, the entire outcome of everyone else’s lives would be different. I ride on waves of guilt that seem to well up within me from nowhere at all. I allow the consequences of other people’s actions to land on me, and make me feel as if I am responsible for what they have done.

          What I had to come to terms with is I am not God. Imagine that—I am just one of several billion people who occupy earth and take up oxygen, living a very ordinary life. I cannot make anyone do or say anything they don’t want to, and beating myself up over what other’s do only drives me farther from the love and grace of God.

          I have laid in bed crying in anguish over my ex-husband who passed away. (Dancing With Bear: A Love Story) I was so distraught over his passing, and convinced that I could have done or said something to someone, somewhere, that would have prevented his death. I loved this man for more than half my life and his passing felt as if it would destroy me. It was just one more thing the devil had in his arsenal against me, and he used it well.

          The truth is, the devil is out to kill, steal, and destroy (John 10:10) your life on  earth, and ultimately, your soul. He doesn’t want you to live happily with God’s blessings, no, he wants you to be miserable and unhappy, and he wants your soul in Hell with him.

There is a saying among Christians, “We know how the story ends and the devil loses.” Yes, he loses but in the meantime, he is active in this world to make sure he takes down as many of us as he can in the time he has left.

          So, how does the devil work? Unbelief is his greatest ally. For those who don’t believe in God, the devil doesn’t really have to worry about them. He knows they have what they want—money, drugs, fame, or whatever it is—and that is their reward. But for those of us who believe in God, who believe Jesus is the Savior of the world, we can expect the devil to do his best to destroy our lives. The devil is a coward, he never just confronts us directly, no, he likes to use those things that make us most vulnerable. The biggest of those is our past.

          Don’t we all let our past get to us? Don’t we obsess on all the things we have done wrong in our lives? And don’t we dwell on the things others have done to us? These are the devil’s weapons. He knows where to jab, punch, and kick. He knows how to use our guilt and unhappiness against us.

The Bible describes the devil as “…your great adversary, the devil… prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour.” (1 Peter 5:8) But verse nine says, “Stand firm against him, and be strong in your faith…”

So, the only way to defeat the devil is to be strong in our faith in Jesus Christ and the Word of God, the Bible.

          I know sometimes that is so difficult, especially if you are new to Christianity and are just learning the Bible. When we are brand new, baby Christians, we still have our old non-Christian baggage that we drag around behind us. We haven’t figured out yet how to let it go, or what to do with it. And the devil knows this.

          What is inside your bag? Were you hurt as a child? Abused physically, sexually, emotionally? Have you been raped, lived with an abusive partner, or been a drug addict? Were you a prostitute? Do you have a sexually transmitted disease there is no cure for? Were you a criminal, served time in prison? Or perhaps nothing in your life has ever worked out for you, and everything you have tried to do has come to nothing?

          No matter what is in your bag, God can rid you of it, but the first step is allowing God to have full control of your life. And to allow God to do that means to forgive yourself and those who have harmed you.

                                                              www.mariemcgaha.com

Marie McGaha is an author, editor, & owner of Dancing With Bear Publishing. She is the author of several books in genres ranging from Christian nonfiction, historical fiction, to contemporary romance. She was named as one of the 50 Authors You Should Be Reading 2016.

She lives on a farm in SE Oklahoma with her truck driver husband, Nathan, and a plethora of farm animals, and a houseful of dogs.

50 Great Authors You Should Be Reading

I am very proud and honored to be included in the 2016 "50 Great Writers You Should Be Reading" from The Author's Show.

Click http://50greatwritersyoushouldbereading.com for the full list.

www.mariemcgaha.com

Our Good Deeds

I read a thing today about this woman who was talking about how she's not a church-going Christian although she does believe in God she says, and while in a fast food place, she felt the need to buy breakfast for two homeless men who had no money.

That is great, I'm glad that she did buy those two men breakfast, they needed it. I've done it a million times, I know people who've done it a million times, and it's good that people do that, but buying a homeless person breakfast does not make you a Christian. It might make you a good person for the moment but that's it.

Isaiah 64:6 says, But we are all like an unclean thing and all our righteousness are like filthy rags...

The term "filthy rags" is very strong language for Isaiah's day. He is actually comparing our good deeds and righteousness to the rags that women used while on their period.

 Titus 2:5 says not by works of righteousness which we have done but according to his Mercy he saved us through the washing of regeneration and renewing of the Holy Spirit.

That word "renewing" is the Greek word, anakainosis, a combination of "ana" (again) & "kainos" (new), which means renovation, restoration, transformation, and a change of heart and life. It means an adjustment of one's moral and spiritual vision.

 Our good deeds will not lead us to Heaven. The road to Heaven is paved with good intentions and the road to hell is going to have a line of people who have been doing good deeds all of their lives.

While we are admonished to produce fruit with our works, we are also cautioned that our works are nothing. James 2:14-26

 Jesus said, "I am the way, the truth, and the life, no one comes to the father except through me." John 14:6

For by Grace you have been saved through faith and not of yourselves, it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast. Ephesians 2:8-9

The only way our good works means anything at all after the moment that we have done them, is if they are done in the context of a relationship with Jesus Christ.

For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh) there is nothing good... Romans 7:18

But of Him you are in Christ Jesus, who became for us wisdom from God - and righteousness and sanctification and Redemption
1 Corinthians 1:30

So if you are going to brag about your good deeds, make sure they're coming from the right place. If your good deeds are not because of a relationship with Jesus Christ, you may as well not even do them because in the end, they are not going to get  you anywhere. And if you are doing good deeds just to get brownie points in this world, and if what you do in this world is the only thing that you are concerned about, then you have truly missed the mark.

Do not  lay up for yourselves treasures on Earth where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in Heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroy and where thieves do not break in and steal, for where your treasure is there your heart will also be.
Matthew 6:19-21

What Do You Mean I'm Fat? Part 2

On August 21, 2014 I had gastric sleeve surgery. I wasn't sure that the surgery was going to really work. I had been fat for a very long time. I had been on every diet known to man and then some, so I didn't have a whole lot of faith in this surgery either.

But I began to lose weight almost immediately. I actually lost 25 pounds the first 3 days I was in the hospital. Over the next few weeks following the surgery from August 21st until December 1, 2014 I lost 100 pounds.

The weight came off quite easily for me. However, because I was losing so much weight so quickly, I felt weak & dizzy. I was nauseous & I spent a lot of time in bed.

By January 2015 I began to quit losing weight at such a rapid pace and I begin to feel better. I could not eat enough to really keep up my strength but finally, by January, I was able to eat a little more often and I started feeling a whole lot better. I still wasn't convinced that I had done the right thing.

The doctor told me that I would wonder if I had made the right decision. He also told me that eventually I would be happy with the decision I made. In January 2015 I had not come to a place where I was happy about my decision, even though I had lost so much weight.

Over the next couple of months I lost about another 15 pounds, and as my weight began to level off, I stopped losing weight and I did begin to feel a lot better. Once I began to buy new clothes and I had gone from a size 16W to a size 0, I got quite a bit happier.

I am now 2 years and 4 months out of surgery, my weight has leveled off and I weigh about 130 pounds. At my lowest I had gotten down to 118 pounds, but I did gain some of that back simply because I'm 5'7" and 118 pounds is way too skinny.

I am happy that I had the surgery. Would I do it again? Probably not. The reason being is that I never have that feeling of, you know how when you're really hungry and you eat something like a cheeseburger or you just have some ribs with the grease and sauce running down your arms and dripping off your elbows, and you eat it and you feel so good, and your stomach is like stretchy full, and you're like, oh my gosh, that was the best food ever?
I never have that feeling anymore. I miss that feeling at Thanksgiving, 4th of July, Christmas and Easter where you get to eat a lot of good food and then have to diet for the week following, but it just feels good eating all of that food, and I don't get to do that anymore.

There's a lot of foods I don't get to eat at all. I can't drink pop, and not that I was a big pop drinker, but I do like to have a Coke every now and then, and I can't drink Coke. I have to watch everything I put in my mouth. I have to plan for events. I have to plan for things like eating bread, or having a piece of dessert like pumpkin pie at Thanksgiving, and I gain weight back very easily if I'm not very careful with my diet.

So, while I can't say that I regret having the gastric sleeve surgery, because it did make my blood pressure go back to normal & I haven't been on any kind of medication in almost a year, including pain pills, I do wish I had chosen another route, like maybe a fat farm or something instead of the surgery.

If you are thinking of having some type of weight loss surgery, I would suggest that you really speak with your doctor, then speak with others who have had the surgery, and know exactly what you're getting into before you make a life-altering decision that you can't change.

What Do You Mean I'm Fat? Part I

I weighed 235 pounds. It wasn't just my weight though, I also had had 3 hip surgeries, neck surgery, along with spinal stenosis, a crushed disc, a cracked disc that was leaking spinal fluid into the surrounding tissue, and I had fibromyalgia and to top it all off, I was also diagnosed with carpal tunnel syndrome. I was in an enormous amount of pain and it hurt to move. I used to dance, perform in a Christian drama troupe, and run around with my kids but as my physical condition worsened and the more pain I was in, the less I felt like moving, the more depressed I became, and I ate to comfort myself. It became a vicious cycle - pain, lack of activity, more pain, food, depression, food, food, food! My weight increased and so did my depression, so I ate more because I felt sorry for myself.
In August 2014 my blood pressure sky-rocketed to stroke level. The doctor told me if I didn't lose weight and lower my blood pressure, I'd have a lethal stroke before the year was out. That kind of news shocked me completely. I already knew that my weight was putting so much pressure on already destroyed joints, discs and bones that the pain was nearly unbearable and I was on some heavy-duty pain meds. I was also getting regualr steroid/lidocaine injections in my muscles, plus injections directly into my spine while I was under anesthesia. But to hear that my weight had caused my blood pressure to get out of control to the point it would kill me was a whole other matter.
That was when I saw a weight-loss doctor, and to my surprise, my insurance would pay for all but $600 of the surgery. So, on August 21, 2014 I was admitted to the hospital for a gastric sleeve surgery.

This is me Christmas 2013. And getting fatter!

Don't miss Part II!

Forging Freedom

       My 5x greatgrandfather, Captain John Files fought in the Revolutionary War with three of his sons at his side. During the Battle of Cowpens, he was gravely injured, and his sons were POW's. Capt John's wife, Mary Catherine Manley-Files, came to the aide of her husband by organizing the people who were able to help by getting beds, clean linens, bandages, and food to the wounded. 
       She then took a satchel with food to the enemy camp where her sons, along with several other soldiers, were being held in the livery stable. When approached by a Yankee soldier, she told him she was just bringing food to her sons. The soldier asked to see the contents, and she sat the basket down, opened the cloth, withdrew a butcher knife and slit the man's throat, severing the carotid artery, killing the soldier. She then rescued her sons and the other soldiers. 
       This story, titled "Freedom Worth Dying For" is to be included in the magazine, "Forging Freedom" coming this fall. You can pre-order right now, and if you want an autographed copy, send me a message at marie @ mariemcgaha.com (no spaces) and I'll tell you how to do it!
       
       For more about this story and the rest of the stories included in the magazine, please go to Forging Freedom.