Wives, Submit! Really?

"Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord."
~Ephesians 5:22

This is probably the most unpopular verse in the Bible for women, and one of the most abused by men. What does submitting to your husband mean? Is this just a way for men to control women? Before you decide the Bible is anti-female, let me assure you, it's not. In fact, this verse doesn't mean what most people think it does, and it is most definitely not intended to be used as an excuse for men to run roughshod over women.

In everything that God does, there is an order. There's an order in the church -- Christ is head of the church, a pastor is second-in-command, followed by the associate pastor, and then any others, such as deacons or whatever an individual church calls their support ministry. Every person in a church is subject to their pastor, who is subject to God. However, the pastor is also subject to his congregation in the sense that if a pastor is stepping outside of biblical parameters for his position, the church body has a responsibility to say something to ensure the integrity of the church.

As a whole, society is built on the same order as the church. We have a government that is responsible for the nation, with individual state governments, county governments, city and local governments that are all responsible for the people of that area. Each of us are subject to local, state, and federal laws. All of these are designed to keep peace and order for the citizens, and to ensure our individual liberties and protection as human beings.

But order and peace begin within the home. Without biblical order in the home, we find that the family begins to deteriorate, children become unruly, and we see that happening more and more. Women are becoming the heads of households, and are single parents raising and trying to support their children on their own. This was not God's design for the home.

God's design is for a godly home, where parents are devoted to Jesus Christ, and put Jesus as head of their own lives first. In a godly home the husband is the head of the family. This does not mean the husband is to dominate his wife and children, but that he is submitted to, and under the rule of, Jesus Christ. It means he is responsible for his family's support, care, and welfare, and he answers to God for his family.

A man is to "cleave" to his wife (Genesis 2:24). In other words, they are to be glued together. They are to be "one flesh" (Mark 10:8), and are to consider their bodies as belonging to the other spouse (1 Corinthians 7:4).

As the husband submits himself to Jesus Christ as Lord of his life, he is under the protection of God. In the same way, when women submit to their husbands, they come under his protection. When it's storming out, we put on our jackets and get out the umbrella to be protected from the elements. In the same way, when we submit, we come under the umbrella of the protection of our husbands who are under the umbrella of protection of God.

This is why it is so important to make sure that we marry a godly man. We are to wait for the Lord to bring us our husbands. But even men who are in the church are not always what they seem, so we have to enter into these relationships with prayer, godly advice, and the assurance that the person we are about to marry for life is truly the person God wants us to marry for life.

"Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?" (2 Corinthians 6:14).

In the same way, men must choose their wives through prayer and godly counsel because "It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife (Proverbs 25:24)".