“And they will call them, “The holy people, the redeemed of the LORD”; and you will be called, “Sought out, a city not forsaken.” Isaiah 62:12, NASB
I have been through a lot. I was sexually abused as a child, I was physically & emotionally abused in a relationship when I was young, I've abused drugs & alcohol, and I've been about as low as a person can go. I spent years blaming myself & others, beating myself up, feeling guilty, being angry, and finally learning to move on but the one thing I couldn't do was deal with others who spoke about similar struggles.
I guess it brought back too many painful memories, thoughts, emotions, and perhaps, it was a form of PTSD. However, God kept placing people in front of me who had the same life experiences I did, and I told God I just couldn't deal with other people's problems. Then, due to a genetic birth defect, I wound up in a wheelchair for a year before undergoing two painful hip surgeries. Sitting in a wheelchair gave me a new perspective on life. It also gave me something else, humility.
I never thought myself to be prideful but in the midst of learning to overcome my own demons, I had actually begun to act as if I had done something more or better than others. I had come out of the darkness. I had pulled myself out of the gutter. I had pulled myself up by the boot straps. I was strong. I was brave. I faced my demons, stood my ground and backed them down. Thereby, others who didn't overcome their problems were weak.
God had a sit-down with me. A year long sit-down where I struggled just to get from room to room. I was also attending the local community college, which had lovely hilly grounds, and I wasn't in a powered wheelchair. Life was a struggle in a very real physical sense. After two hip surgeries, I was on a walker, and then a cane.
The process took about two full years. I hated everything about my disabilities. But God used that time to teach me that while I had been responsible for making the decision to get out, to come through the darkness rather than be consumed by it, my strength came from Him. Even the decision to come to God was from His Holy Spirit. And that without Him, I would still be wallowing in that gutter.
While I had the desire, it was from God, but more than that. He wanted to use the work He began in me to bring others to a place where they could also reach others. It was not a singular event, a blessing for my life but a manifold blessing that had the potential to reach thousands of women who were just like me.
There is no 'me' in Jesus, but there is an 'us' and like Jesus, we aren't here to walk alone but to bring others along while we walk with Him. No matter what you are dealing with or have come through, you have not been forsaken. Your story is powerful, and you have an amazing ability to overcome through the Blood of Christ. He makes us brave and strong and able to pass on to others the strength to overcome every situation, every demon, every nightmare, and wake up in the bright & glorious light of God's love.
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