Then Amnon hated her with very great hatred, so that the hatred with which he hated her was greater than the love with which he had loved her. And Amnon said to her, “Get up! Go!”
~2 Samuel 13:15
As if it wasn't bad enough to have raped his own sister, once Amnon was finished with her, he tossed her out as if she were a common whore. And he "hated" her as if what had just happened was Tamar's fault. Tamar then had to live out her days, not as a king's daughter in the palace but as a broken woman in her brother, Absolom's house.
The violation of her body was something that would heal but the violation to her life, to her very existance would last the rest of her life. But it wasn't only the violation of what her brother had stolen from her - her innocence, her virginity, the trust she'd had in him, and her ability to marry and have a family - there was also the violation from King David - her father.
What must it have felt like to know the man who raised you, loved you, cared for you, and was supposed to protect you refused to do so?
In Tamar's day, a woman did not leave her father's house until she was married. This was to protect her virtue and honor against any man who may try to seduce her, and to also prevent any gossip that may arise from anyone trying to hurt a woman's reputation. A woman's reputation, her virtue and honor was what she had to offer any future husband and it was her father's duty to ensure her safety and to bring justice for any violation. Even though King David was "very angry" (v. 21), he did nothing.
Poor Tamar. She was forced to live with such violation of her body, heart & mind. So much so that the Bible says she "put ashes on her head and tore the long robe that she wore. And she laid her hand on her head and went away, crying aloud as she went" (v. 19). And she "lived, a desolate woman, in her brother Absalom's house" (v. 20). Tamar was forced to live with what happened to her but she also had to live with the sins of her brother and her father.
Sin has consequences for everyone involved, even those who have no part in committing the sin but are, nevertheless, it's victim. There are physical, mental, and spiritual repercussions for sin that spread like a ripple in a pond and touch everyone in our lives to some degree. We may think that the things we choose to do are our business and no one has a right to tell us what to do, but our choices always affect others. Even the secret sins eventually come out and touch the lives of others. No matter how sneaky we think we are, or how good we keep secrets, our sin will find us out (Numbers 32:23).
Sin violates the very core of who we are and who we hope to become. Sin is never a single entity but rather, has its own group of friends. No matter the sin, it's center is betrayal, lies, and mistrust. Sin spreads like a black, sticky mess you can't wipe away and adheres to everything you touch. Sin affects every area of life and can sever friendships, marriages, and family ties. It can cost finances, homes, and careers. It can end relationships, bright futures, and the very lives of those we love most. Sin leads to to death in every aspect.
Sin - the cause,
Christ - the cure!
©Marie McGaha 2017
No reproduction without author's permission