He Reigns!

Wednesday, August 23, 2017

Husbands, Love Your Wives

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her ~Ephesians 5:25

I've always found it amusing that in the Bible wives are not once commanded to love their husbands; they are commanded to show respect for their husbands. On the other hand, husbands are commanded to love their wives. Not just love as in having feelings of affection for, but to love her the way that Christ loved the church. An all encompassing, sacrificial love - agape love.

In a biblical view of marriage, a man has an enormous job as husband. He is to be head of his household the way that Christ is head of the church. He is to be the leader of the wife and the children. Not just in a sense that he has to work and support them, which he is commanded to do as well, he is to be a Christian leader and to teach his children the ways of the Lord, and make sure they grow up with a biblical view of life honoring the Lord God. He is to be a shining example of Christian love, and a shining example of a Biblical husband to his wife. He is to be an outstanding member of society and the church; a man that other men look to for direction and to emulate as a husband.

In 1 Timothy 3 there is a list of qualifications for men to oversee the church. It begins with "he must be the husband of one wife" then continues:
temperate, sober-minded, of good behavior, hospitable, able to teach; not given to wine, not violent, not greedy for money, but gentle, not quarrelsome, not covetous; one who rules his own house well (vv. 2-4). These are the qualifications a man must have in his own home before he is able to hold any position in church.

This seems like a contradiction to everything that we see going on in the world because everything from God is absolutely contradictory to everything of the world. God has a plan and an order for our lives, including our married lives. When we step out of God's will and into the lies of the world, we can see the reason for divorce, domestic violence, child abuse, drug addiction, and alcoholism.

God does not allow for a man to be violent for any reason, especially not with his wife and children (Colossians 3:19, 21). Domestic violence is one of the only two reasons allowed for divorce. A man must also support his family. In today's society, that seems to be lost on a good majority of men. 1 Timothy 5:8 says a man who doesn't support his family is "worse than an unbeliever."

Being a husband and father is a huge job filled with immense responsibility. Neither role is to be entered into lightly or without the knowledge that it is a commitment to the Lord for life.

Tuesday, August 22, 2017

An Excellent Woman

"Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all."
~Proverbs 31:29

The wife in Proverbs 31:10-31 seems like a whole lotta woman to live up to. In fact, she seems perfect. She appears to be some kind of superwoman with a clean house, perfect hair, make-up and nails, with kids who obey and never try to kill one another, and a perfect marriage to boot. Definitely a woman I've never met.

The Proverbs woman has been used as a measuring stick for women in church for as long as I can remember. As a younger woman, I used to scoff at the idea of this wife because she is so seemingly perfect and who can be perfect? Definitely a woman conceived in a male mind. But as I've aged, I see the usefulness of studying this woman. She has much to teach us.

The Proverbs woman is a loyal, faithful wife. She supports her husband in his ministry and his life. She is a good mother who raises her children to love God, and to honor their parents. She is kind, friendly, and generous. She is a working woman who contributes to society and helps build her family's security. She is really no different than you or me.

No matter what goes on in the world around us, God's word is unchanging. His expectations of us, whether male or female, are exactly the same now as they were when written. Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever (Hebrews 14:8).

Life around us is crazy, messy, and lately, seemingly out of control. It's like a hurricane or tornado that spins wildly, destroying everything in its path but in eye of the storm, it's silent and calm. Jesus is like that. No matter how life may spin out of control, if Christ is our center, we will experience peace and calm.

As women, we have an immense calling on our lives. We bear the brunt of raising children, keeping the home, cooking, cleaning, managing household affairs, caring for a husband and working full-time jobs. It's a heavy load with immense responsibility. At times it can also seem as if we carry that load alone. At times, I am convinced the author was right when he wrote, "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus." Sometimes, it's as if my husband and I speak different languages.

But God made us differently for a reason. We have our own skill sets as women, and our own talents as individuals. We are all the woman in Proverbs 31 because that is who God designed us to be - strong, wise, diligent, smart, educated, efficient, skillful daughters of the King.

Thursday, August 17, 2017

Open Marriage Part 2


“In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God's gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered."
~1 Peter 3:7

Marriage is ordained by God. He is a family man and our marriages are important to Him. While there is nothing wrong with being single (1 Corinthians 7:7, Matthew 19:11), marriage was designed for procreation and to keep people from sexual sin. Marriage is a special covenant between a man and a woman with God that is a lifetime commitment. With the exception of violence (1 Corinthians 7:15) and infidelity (Matthew 5:31-32), there is no excuse for divorce. Even those who are a Christian and marry a non-Christian, or a spouse who becomes a Christian during the marriage while the other spouse remains a non-Christian, has no excuse for divorce (1 Corinthians 7:15-16).

However, the current divorce rate is about 53%, even among professing Christians and those who attend church regularly. Why is this? Quite simply - satan. That may seem like a cop-out to some but when examining marriage from a biblical view, we see that everything God ordains as being holy and good is fiercely opposed by the devil. He does not want us to succeed in our walk with God and our marriages and families become prime targets. Remaining firmly planted in the Word of God, seeing the world from a godly perspective, and living out our lives in a manner pleasing to God are the first steps to ensuring our marriages last a lifetime.

"A new command I give you, love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another (John 13:34 NIV)."
The love of God is call "Agape" love. This is a deep, abiding love that surpasses all other types of love. It is a love that overlooks the faults of others and accepts them fully. This is the love Christ has for each of us. The love that led Him to the Cross to give His life so that our sins will not be held against us. It is the love that purchased our souls from hell and allows us entrance to Heaven. When we fully understand the love of God for us, we see that it is much more than the love we know from our own experiences.

There are two other types of love in the Bible. "Phileo" love is the love of friends. The type of love we have for our best friend, our parents, siblings and others. The other type of love is "eros" love. This is sexual love, desire, or lust. It is the type of love most closely associated with an intimate relationship. Having both types of love for our spouses is important. But to have a marriage that endures, we must also love our spouses with the same love God loves us, that is Agape love. This is a sacrificial love. It never asks, "What's in it for me?" Agape love is an action, not a feeling. It is what we do, what we say, how we act with our spouse. It is putting that person ahead of our own needs, and it is acting in love even when the other person has made us angry or isn't acting in a loving manner toward us.

It can be very easy to react in a like manner to someone who is being loud, insulting, angry or otherwise hurtful. But that isn't how God tells us to respond. We are to love one another (John 15:12-13), to show our love (Romans 5:8) for one another, and to do no wrong to another person (Romans 13:10), no matter how they are treating us. That doesn't mean we have to cower and take abuse, but we are not to repay wrong for wrong (1 Peter 3:9).

Marriage is a blessing from God that gives us a partner to help us through this thing called life. When approached in a manner worthy of our calling in Christ Jesus, our marriages will be as loving and fulfilling on the last day of our lives as on the wedding day.

Wednesday, August 16, 2017

Open Marriage Part 1

“In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God's gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered."
~1 Peter 3:7

Marriage isn't easy. Living with someone until 'death do us part' is a daunting task. And trying to make a marriage last in a world that says it's okay to toss aside anything and move on to the next thing, makes lifelong commitments seem less than desirable.

My husband is a truck driver and he's around other drivers either in person or on the CB. Many of these men enjoy telling other truckers about their lives at home. They talk about the sports they watch, the toys they own, and ultimately, about their wives and marriages. My husband has seen a firsthand account of the differences between worldly marriages and godly marriages.

Some of these men don't tell their wives how much money they make, they have separate bank accounts, they split the bills so the wives have to pay their "share," and some have separate lives. When my husband told me this, I thought it sounded more like roommates instead of marriage.

God created our marriages to be open, trusting, faithful, with no doubts about our spouse. Secrets of any kind within a marriage breeds mistrust, jealousy and anger. Yes, everything you do is your spouses business just as everything your spouse does is your business.

My husband's email account and mine are linked, we both have all passwords on computers, phones, and every site we might have that requires passwords. We know pins for one another's bank cards, credit cards etc.  He has full access to my purse and wallet, and I have full access to his wallet. We have full access to everything the other does.

That doesn't mean we mistrust one another or that we rifle through one another's things. In fact, I can't remember the last time I looked at anything of his....he's actually pretty boring!

We have absolute trust in one another because we know our desire is to last a lifetime. Our marriage is designed on a triangle with God at the top point, my husband and I at the other two points, and everything else about life - children, jobs, friends, finances etc. - are in the middle. God is the head of our marriage, the Pattern we follow (Ephesians 5:22-24). God is Head of the church, the husband is Head of the house, but that doesn't mean wives are less than equal with their husbands. It means the husband has the greater responsibility for the care and support of his family. Every man will be held accountable for how he cared for, or failed to care for his family.

God didn't design our relationships as temporary or replaceable. Even our existance is to be everlasting. Living within God's design and plan, means not only will our marriages last a lifetime, we will be headed for everlasting life with Jesus in Heaven.

Tuesday, August 15, 2017

To Tithe Or Not To Tithe

"In the same way, the Lord has commanded that those who preach the gospel should receive their living from the gospel."
~1 Corinthians 9:14

Tithing is a hotly debated subject among some Christians. Their argument is that it's Old Testament, even though Luke 6:38 seems pretty clear to me, and Jesus said, "Render unto Cesar what is Cesar's and unto God what is God's" (Matthew 22:21). And Psalm 24:1 tells us "The Earth is the Lord's and everything in it..."

I believe in tithing. God has blessed me and I know He expects me to bless others however I can. He also expects us to support our pastors and the churches we attend. While I have heard people say that a pastor should support himself, this is contrary to Scripture. In fact, Paul devotes 1Corinthians 9:1-19 to explaining why a preacher should be supported by his congregation.

In today's world, there are some very real, practical reasons to pay your tithes and help support your pastor. While churches are tax exempt, that only applies to income tax. There are still bills to pay. The lights, water, sewer, garbage, property tax, insurance, repairs​, to name a few of the larger costs. But there's a lot of smaller costs: office supplies, classroom supplies for Sunday School, website costs, etc. And that doesn't even cover paying the person who is responsible for taking care of it all, while also being pastor, teacher, counselor, maintenance personnel, janitor, and shepherd of the flock.

You go to church to be fed the Word of God, to worship and fellowship with other believers, to be loved, cared for and to find emotional support during times of crisis and hardships. Church is a buffet for what we need spiritually and emotionally.

When you go to a restaurant to eat, you don't expect them to feed you for free, so why do so many expect to dine at church for free? God asks for a mere 10% to be returned to His house to support those He has called to take care if the congregation, and people refuse to give. Yet those same people think nothing of tagging on a 20% gratuity for the waiter who delivered their plate to the table.

Tithing is important to God. It shows your faithfulness, your belief that He really is in control, that He can take your small portion and multiply it greatly, and above all that, it shows He is Lord of your life.

God has given us everything. He died on the Cross out of love for each of us. He asks for our commitment to serve Him by serving others in our actions, deeds, and finances.

He is either Lord of your life, including your money, or He is Lord of nothing in your life.

“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven" (Matthew 7:21).

Monday, August 14, 2017

This Is Gonna Hurt

"You rejoice in this greatly, even though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been distressed by various trials. These trials are so that the true metal of your faith (far more valuable than gold, which perishes though refined by fire) may come to light in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Messiah Yeshua (1 Peter 1:6-7, TLV)."

Trials and tribulations make up our life. We all go through them to one extent or another. When someone complains and says, "Why me?" My answer is usually, "Because it's your turn."

No one wants to go through trials in life. They're painful and we don't like to be in pain on any level. The problem is, we can't avoid trials because even if we do the right thing, keep to ourselves, keep our mouths shut and don't run off the rails, we are still affected by the world around us. Our spouses, children, relatives, co-workers, friends, and even strangers affect our lives. The struggles of the world around us affect our lives, moods, and finances. None of us are an island and we cannot avoid being tested in life. But we can decide how we are going to deal with these tests.

Suffering in life isn't always about the event we are going through, it is also about how we handle it and what purpose it serves within us. "And not only that, but we also boast in suffering—knowing that suffering produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope (Romans 3:4-5, TLV)."

There is purpose in the trials of life. It builds character and faith in us but it also shows our faith and trust in the Lord to those around us. Trials even produce happiness!
"Happy is the one who endures testing, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life, which the Lord promised to those who love Him (James 1:12, TLV)."But all of those results are predicated on our response.

(1) How am I responding to a problem?
People of God should respond in a godly manner, not in a worldly manner.

(2) How should I respond? We are to respond in a manner worthy of our calling in Christ.

(3) What lesson is there to be learned?
Every trial has a life lesson; don't be afraid of the trial but instead, seek the lesson within.

(4) Does my response demonstrate to others my faith and love for Christ?
Trials build our faith in God but also shows God to others.

(5) How can God use it in my life?
Trials test our faith and gives us a new, richer understanding of who God is.

Being tested is not God being angry with us but rather a way of refining us for His glory. Jesus was tempted in the desert (Matthew 4:1-11), and He faced many trials leading to the Cross, but He over came the Cross and set an example for us (John 16:33). And He did not leave us to struggle alone.

"No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it (1 Corinthians 10:13, ESV).

 ©Marie McGaha 2017
No reproduction without author's permission

Wednesday, August 9, 2017

Be Courageous

She answered him, “No, my brother, do not violate me, for such a thing is not done in Israel; do not do this outrageous thing. As for me, where could I carry my shame? And as for you, you would be as one of the outrageous fools in Israel. Now therefore, please speak to the king, for he will not withhold me from you.”
~2 Samuel 13:12-13

Tamar was about to be raped and pleaded with her brother, Amnon, to stop. She even begged him to go to the king (their father) and ask for her hand in marriage. This shows how desperate Tamar was since marriage between relatives was strictly forbidden by the Torah (Leviticus 18:19). However, her words fell on deaf ears, and Amnon overpowered his sister and raped her. He then tossed her out as if she were to blame and Tamar lived out her life a broken woman.

There are many things in life that aren't going to make sense. There are going to be many people who ignore us when we speak, even when we're being reasonable. Even when we're speaking truth, there will be people who are going to ignore what we say. There are going to be times when we become so desperate, we will say anything to change the situation we are in. There are going to be times when we feel helpless to change the road we're on.

Life isn't easy and bad things happen. Things beyond our control will happen. Situations we create that cause other bad things are going to happen. We are going to be hurt - physically and emotionally. We are going to have broken hearts. We're going to experience loss. We live in a sick world that spreads it's disease to everyone on some level, either directly or indirectly. That is the penalty for living in a sinful world. No one is immune, however, we can help ourselves and those around us.

"For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin (Hebrews 4:15). Christ has a complete understanding of the human condition, of our pain and our weakness. And he alone is able to give us eternal comfort and rest (Matthew 11:28).

No matter where we've been, no matter the mess we've made, no matter the pain we live with, no matter how broken our lives are -- Jesus can make us brand new, change the path we're on, and give us purpose.

"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world" (John 16:33).

We are also overcomers. We are conquerers (Romans 8:37) with the strength and ability to be the women of God we were designed to be. We have a strong spirit and a strong mind (2 Timothy 1:7), and in Jesus, we can accomplish anything.

"What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us
(Romans 8:31)?"

©Marie McGaha 2017
No reproduction without author's permission